Monday, May 07, 2007
Small world
Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through."
He walked out the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around, and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress! Maybe you'd better go talk to them."
The second man walked toward the ladies, got halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back and said: "Small world."
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
Thanks Joe P
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Advice from men to women
...Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
...If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
...Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
...Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
...Please don't drive when you're not driving.
...Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
...The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!
...When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
10 things men know about women
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. Women have breasts
(I think number 10 should have been number 1, but I didn’t create the list so I left it as found.)
Back to the Future trivia
Michael J. Fox is only ten days younger than Lea Thompson, the actress who plays his mother, and is almost three years older than his on-screen dad, Crispin Glover.- The device originally considered for use as the time travel machine was a refrigerator. Director Robert Zemeckis said in an interview that the idea was scrapped because he and Steven Spielberg did not want children to start climbing into refrigerators and getting trapped inside.
- According to the Universal Studios back lot tour, the clock tower is the same one that is seen in the movie To Kill a Mockingbird (1962). The area is referred to as Mockingbird Square, and it is a stone's throw away from other famous filming locations, such as the exterior of the Psycho (1960) house and the "Red Sea".
- Universal Pictures head Sid Sheinberg did not like the title "Back to the Future", insisting that nobody would see a movie with "future" in the title. In a memo to Robert Zemeckis, he said that the title should be changed to "Spaceman From Pluto", tying in with the Marty-as-alien jokes in the film, and also suggested further changes like replacing the "I'm Darth Vader from planet Vulcan" line with "I am a spaceman from Pluto!" Sid Sheinberg was persuaded to change his mind by a response memo from Steven Spielberg, which thanked him for sending a wonderful "joke memo", and that everyone got a kick out of it. Sid Sheinberg, too proud to admit he was serious, gave in to letting the film retain its title.
- There are only about 32 special effects shots in the entire film.
- John Lithgow and Jeff Goldblum were considered for the role of Doc Brown.
- The lion statues in front of the Lyon Estates subdivisions were inspired by two like statues in the University City Loop in St. Louis, where writer Bob Gale grew up.
More Back to the Futrure trivia
The Brazilian spider whose venom might boost your sex life
Brazilian and US scientists are looking into using spider venom as a possible treatment for male impotence.
Their investigation follows reports that men bitten by the Phoneutria nigriventer experienced priapism - long and painful erections.
A two-year study has found that the venom contains a toxin, called Tx2-6, that causes erections.
The bite of Phoneutria nigriventer, known as the Brazilian wandering spider, is potent and can be deadly in some cases.
Further tests are being carried out in the US before the substance can be approved for human use.
I think I’ll pass.
Top 10 body hacks
From Lifehacker:
We geeks spend a lot of time tinkering with our PCs, but the greatest computer you'll ever use is your body. Today's Top 10 takes a break from circuits, software and chips to take a look at how to power use that hot bod of yours. You might be surprised what you can do as a bag of mostly water.
How to hack your senses, free your mind, cure common maladies and more in Lifehacker's Top 10 body hacks.1. Hold your breath longer
2. Cure warts with duct tape
3. Stop brain freeze with your tongue
4. Scratch your leg to make it to the loo
5. Power use your ears
6. Free your mind under a high ceiling
7. Think while you sleep
8. Cure hiccups with water
9. Whistle with two fingers
10. Tell if someone's lying
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