Today is the big day… the big game…. the best commercials……. getting together with good friends…… eating and drinking to excess. It doesn't matter who wins… we just want to see a good game. And funny commercials.
Billy Joel will sing the national anthem, assuming he can drive safely to the stadium. Cirque du Soleil will perform before the game. Prince will star in the half-time entertainment. Hopefully there will be no wardrobe malfunctions.
One day in Heaven….
Tom Brady died tragically one day. When he got to heaven st peter showed him his house, a good sized place with patriots flags and colors... then tom looked at another house that was an enormous mansion, had a blue garage, blue windows, a colts flag flying in the front yard, it looked like it had about 50 rooms. Tom was upset so he asked God, "God, i have won several championships, MVP's, lead my team to many 4th quarter comebacks, and I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but why is Peyton Mannings house so much bigger and better then mine? he hasn't even won a championship (yet)" God turned and looked at the house, turned back to Tom and said, "thats not Peytons house, thats mine."
Young Fans
A first-grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Indianapolis Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. Kelly has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Colts fan" she reports.
"Then," asks the teacher," What are you?"
"I'm a Chicago Bears fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher asks Susie why she is a Bears fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so I'm a Bears fan too," she responds.
"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"
Kelly smiles and says, "Then I'd be a Colts fan."
Near Miss
A Bears fan was driving when he spotted a Colts fan walking along the road. For fun, he swerved near him, veering away just in time.
Though he was certain he had missed the guy, he heard a loud THUD.
The Bears fan glanced in his mirrors but didn’t see anything. “What was that?” he asked friend in the back seat. “I thought I missed that Colts fan.”
“You did” replied his friend, “But I got him with the door.”
Going to the Game?
This is cheap for today’s game. Wonder how many miles this is from the stadium.
Dog Bowl
Guy’s in a bar watching a Bear/Packer game a few years ago. The owner’s small dog is allowed to run around on the bar.
Each time the Packers score the dog yips and yaps with glee. When the game ends with GB winning, the dog goes absolutely crazy, dancing on the bar, complete with several back flips.
Guy looks at the owner and says, “Wow, he’s a real Packer fan. What would he have done if the Bears won?”
Bartender replies, “Don’t know, he’s only seven years old.”
The Chicago Bears took the field for their first Super Bowl practice in Miami. Not long after the practice started a Bear offensive player noticed a white, powdery substance on the field. Practice was immediately stopped and experts were called in to examine the substance. With recent scares about anthrax, officials worried that terrorists had somehow gained access to the field. A group of nervous Chicago players stood and watched as the substance was examined. Finally the tests were completed and the experts revealed that the powder was just the chalk dust from the goal line. It was an understandable mistake considering the Bears' offense seldom got near that area of the field.
We love your site. Keep blogging.
ReplyDeleteHere's our Super Bowl prediction:
BEARS 28, Colts 17
-He Said, She Said
http://www.hesaidshesaidlove.blogspot.com
Boy, Jonco. You don't like the Bears, do you? Where's the love for your northern neighbors?
ReplyDeleteChristian
Wheaton, IL
(lifelong Chicagoan, lifelong baseball Cardinals fan)
Actually I would have preferred the Bears win over the Colts. That's only because their head coach used to work for the Rams in St. Louis and he seemed like a decent guy.... and I've been to Chicago quite a few times and I love the city. Only been to Indianapolis once when I was about 12 or 13 so I don't have many memories there.
ReplyDeleteThe jokes were the only ones I could find (in the limited time i had) that I thought were funny. You can change the names and they'd still be as funny. I really didn't keep a tally on what team was getting slammed.
Sorry to disappoint anyone. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Just pulling your leg, really. Those jokes ARE told around here the other way around (with the Packers as the butt of the jokes). I personally find them funnier that way. 8)
ReplyDeleteSidenote to He Said, She Said: You were almost exact with your prediction. Unfortunately (for the Bears and us fans), you had it reversed. Otherwise, I like your sentiment!
Now to what's really important in sports: only 56 days 'til Opening Day! Cardinals vs. Mets...