Saturday, December 03, 2005

Streeeetch

&Picccszb24

Artistic or forensic?

Doggyoutline

It might be time to defrost the fridge

Defrost

Quick exit

Saved19zs

Stuck on moo

Moooo

Walking tall

Turtlewalk

Guiness record breaker

Wonder what her claim to fame is…
Record breaker

Forbes Fictional 15

Forbes 15 Richest Fictional  Characters
Collectively, we are fascinated by the super-rich. We devour their biographies. We hang on their advice. Maybe we even hope for their downfall. But in our attempts to explain the ultra-rich--and their super-inflated bank accounts--we are often guilty of reducing real people to mere caricatures. There is the monopolist. The oracle. The genius. The thief.

With the Forbes Fictional 15, we have taken the opposite approach--fiction’s caricatures are elevated to the status of real people.

To qualify for the Fictional 15, we insisted that members be both fictional (in the sense that we excluded mythological and folkloric figures) and characters (meaning they are part of a narrative story or series of stories). Great wealth was required to be one of the primary attributes of the characters on this list--in other words, we looked for characters that were known, within their universes, for being rich.

 

Friday, December 02, 2005

My kind of dog

Good dog

Spiderman in training

Spidermanjr

It worked!

Slimfast0ns

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"I wish I was a watermelon...."

POOF!
Piccsat20

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Possum fur nipple warmers on eBaY

NipplethumbNipple warmers are a wonderful novelty gift that will be talked about for ever more. Made in New Zealand from real Eco Fur - as seen in Playboy Magazine and discussed in "New Scientist". 

 Possum Fur Nipple warmers are a functional luxury... or a fun novelty. (place them inside bra, fur towards nipple- toasty and warm) and these are a great novelty no matter what climate you live in.

Get ‘em while they’re hot.

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Settlement in suit alleging pressure to show breasts to gorilla with "nipple fetish"

GorillasuitWOODSIDE, Calif. (AP) _ There's a settlement in a lawsuit by two former caretakers who refused to show their breasts to a gorilla.

The women had filed a lawsuit against the Gorilla Foundation, near San Francisco. They claimed they were fired after they refused to expose their breasts to the 33-year-old, 300-pound female gorilla named Koko, who can understand some sign language.

According to the lawsuit, they were told they should expose their breasts as a way to bond with Koko, who was described as having a "nipple fetish."

The foundation has denied the allegations. Lawyers aren't revealing the terms of the settlement.

A second similar lawsuit filed by another employee is still pending.

Here’s the story from KVOA TV in Tuscon.

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101 Tips and Tweaks for Windows XP

Tea_101tipsHere are just a few:

  • 5.   Cleaning up unwanted startup programs
  • 7.   Disable unnecessary services
  • 26. Select 'No to all' when copying files in XP
  • 38. Using the Windows XP firewall
  • 50. Change the picture in the welcome screen
  • Winl253. Create a screensaver from your pictures
  • 59. Stopping desktop ad popups
  • 60. Displaying hidden files and folders
  • 63. Finding your IP address and other information with IPCONFIG
  • 73. Remove the annoying dog from the search screen
  • 90. Display message on startup
  • 95. Automatically close non-responsive programs
  • 100. Force windows XP to reboot upon crashing

The complete list.

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How many steaks maketh one cow?

BeefAn 1,150 lb. steer doesn’t yield 1,150 lbs. of beef. On the average, that steer yields a 714 lb. carcass.  Approximately 146 lbs. of fat and bone are trimmed off leaving about 568 lbs. of retail beef cuts.
Very little of the other 582 lbs. is lost, however. It includes about 27 lbs. of variety meats (liver, heart, tongue, tripe, sweetbreads and brains), plus by-products that are used in a variety of foods, cosmetics, clothing and a host of manufactured items. These by-products are also an important source of life-saving, life-improving medicines such as insulin and heparin.

More cow meat facts.

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Paint that magically erases scratches

 Nissan Motor said Friday it had created a paint that repairs scratches on its own, restoring a car's surface to normal within a week.

Carscratch The Japanese automaker said the paint contains a newly developed resin that can stop scratches from marking the car's outer layer.

Wear and tear due to everything from fingernails to roadside objects will disappear in one day to one week depending on the temperature and the seriousness of the scratch, Nissan said in a statement.

The "Scratch Guard Coat" paint, which protects for three years, will debut on a sports-utility vehicle which is set for a makeover, Nissan said.

The paint also helps prevent scratches in the first place. Nissan said a vehicle with the paint suffers only one-fifth of the usual abrasions caused by car-washing machines -- the main culprit for scratches.

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

Giraffe eats Pillsbury Doughboy

The-fattest-giraffe-alive-d29

Go Granny go

Orgy in Nursing Home

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Female dashboard

Female dashboard

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Toilet golf game

Help improve putting

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Nice and cozy cat

Sleepywarmcat

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What does this picture represent?

Lightbeer

This one is pretty easy – It’s a light beer.   Try your hand at figuring out some other ones.

Thanks Phyllis

Thirsty Taliban man....

Desert_mirageA fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with neckties laid out on it. 

The Arab asked, "My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?" 

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes." 

The Arab shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water!" 
 

"OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie. I will show you that you have not offended me. If you walk over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. Go! Walk that way! The restaurant has all the water you need!" 

The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared. Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was sitting at his table. 
 

The Jew said, "I told you, about two miles over that hill.  Could you not find it? 

"I found it all right," rasped the Arab. "Your brother won't let me in without a tie."

Thanks Phyllis

And you thought gas was expensive

Gallon01aPrice per gallon:

  • Human blood                       $1,514,79
  • Vanilla extract                     $ 127.84
  • Cover Girl Nail Polish           $ 892.80
  • Chanel No. 5 perfume  $ $25,600.00
  • Armor All                                 $31.92
  • Tabasco Sauce                       $94.46
  • Budweiser                                 $8.88
  • Folgers Coffee                        $ 0.70
  • Liquid Nails                             $24.02
  • Scorpion venom      $ 38,858,507.46

Other liquids here   

Note:  This list might be slightly out of date.  It has gasoline listed at $1.39 per gallon, but it’s still interesting.)

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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

How not to make new friends

How-not-to-make-new-friends-6c1

Woman has 2 vaginas

V-day2Owning a pair of vaginas doubles your fun!
She’s one in a million. Well, technically, I guess she’s sort of two in a million. That is, she has two vaginas, two uteruses and two cervixes.

On the other hand, J’s uterus didelphys – the technical name for her matching lady bits – is, according to one of the many gynecologists who’ve poked around down there over the years, literally one in a million. In and around there, anyway.

"It’s really, really rare," J proudly explains. "There are more cases of women having just two wombs or just two vaginas or two cervixes, but I’ve got the whole kit times two."

Well, except the clitoris.

"Are you kidding?" laughs J. "If I had two clits, I’d never leave the house!"

Read her story here.

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Woman gets new nose , lips, and chin in first face transplant

Carrot-noseSurgeons in France have carried out the first face transplant, it has been reported.

The woman had lost her nose, lips and chin after being savaged by a dog.

If-only-people-were-this-attractive-313In the controversial operation, tissues, muscles, arteries and veins were taken from a brain-dead donor and attached to the patient's lower face.

Doctors stress the woman will not look like her donor, but nor will she look like she did before the attack - instead she will have a "hybrid" face.

Jay-LenoIt has been technically possible to carry out such a transplant for some years, with teams in the US, the UK and France researching the procedure.

Skin from another person's face is better for transplants as it will be a better match than skin from another part of the patient's body, which could have a different texture or colour.

More on this story at BBC News

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Pack of dogs attack crocodile

Dogsvscrock

Real video:  Tiger vs crocodile

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Just Zip it!

ZippedThe ultimate in women's body piercing

Men all over the country are urging their wives and sweethearts to get this 'chic' procedure. 

The going rate on the east coast now exceeds five  digits $$$$$.

Heck, it just might be worth it.!

Thanks Phyllis

Cleaning ladies suck for big buck$

Vacuum-cleaner200Two cleaning ladies are being investigated for using industrial vacuum cleaners to suck cash out of casino slot machines.

The women allegedly stole hundreds of thousands of pounds in cash out of slot machines in a Slovenian casino.

The police have now been called in after bosses at Casino Korona in the Kranjska Gora ski resort grew suspicious.

They say money started disappearing from slot machines after the casino closed for the night.

Officers believe at least two of the casino's cleaning ladies had been using the giant vacuum cleaners for months to suck cash out of the machine's slots.

Casino bosses estimate the women could have stolen up to £330,000 pounds but cannot prove it. Obviously they did a good job cleaning up after themselves.

The entire cleaning staff has been fired.

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Monster bike

Monster_bike_03

More pics of the monster bike

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New state mottos

United-states-mapHere are just a few:

  • Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
  • California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
  • Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet
  • Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
  • Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
  • Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
  • Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
  • Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
  • Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
  • Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
  • Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared

The complete list

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Covertly extend your lunch hour with Lunchclock

ClockWhat on earth is lunchclock?
lunchclock is a JavaScript clock that distorts time to give you a longer lunch hour. lunchclock discreetly runs fast in the morning, runs slow over lunch, and runs fast again in the afternoon. The result is that the length of your working day is unchanged, but you can sneak a few extra minutes onto your lunch break.

How do I use lunchclock?
You simply enter the details of your working day and the desired lunch period extension, then click on 'Launch lunchclock'. lunchclock launches in a new browser window, and displays a large clock. You can press F11 to make the window go full-screen. Simply run lunchclock on a computer in a prominent position in your office or workplace. lunchclock has most effect when your boss can see both your desk and the lunchclock at the same time. Alternatively, run lunchclock on your own computer so everybody around you can see what time you're running on - but don't forget to turn off your screen saver.

How does lunchclock work?
lunchclock uses a chrono-distortion algorithm to calculate how much to speed up or slow down the clock based on the details of your working day and your desired lunch period extension. If, for example, your lunch period is 12:00 until 13:00, and you set a lunch period extension of 1 hour, lunchclock runs fast during the morning and reaches 12:00 when it is really 11:30. lunchclock then runs slow and reaches 13:00 when it is really 13:30. lunchclock then runs fast again until the end of your working day.

Of course a 1 hour extension is way too obvious, but use lunchclock with a 1 to 5 minute extension and it is almost impossible to detect! lunchclock is written in JavaScript and runs in a web browser window. It uses your computers own clock as a reference, so you should make sure that it is correct.

Try it here.

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Monday, November 28, 2005

Oops

Turtle toon

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Man has 12 satellite dishes - Gets 5,000 + channels

DishesBeckly West Virginia.  Are 20 movie channels on demand just not enough?

Do constant reruns of “I Love the ’80s” on VH1 have you ready to gouge out your eyeballs?

Then come to Al Jessup’s house — where his 5,000-plus radio and television stations from around the world beamed in by his 12 satellite dishes are bound to keep you entertained somehow.

Since 1998, the Beckley resident has amassed a collection of 12 dishes around his James Street home. He said he first just began subscribing to Direct TV and Dish Network, but he later learned that by purchasing special satellite receivers he could receive “free to air” programming from several different satellites swirling the globe. The information on how to adjust a dish and set up a receiver to pick up programming from these stations such as Galaxy 10, AMC 2 and Telestar 5 is included with these receivers.

“Up in the sky, there’s lots of free stuff,” he said.

In his home, Jessup has three television sets, and only one gets the plethora of stations. The other two, he said, just receive his programming from his Direct TV and Dish Network subscriptions.

Read the complete story here.

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A test for you

Bus stopYou are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

HOWEVER...., the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

...God, I just love happy endings !

Thanks Phyllis

Biker baby - When you gotta go, you gotta go

Baby Toilet

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Oh no, not another one

George W Jr

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Now this is a real pool table

PoolTable_1

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Car-B-Q

Car-b-q

Is that a cactus in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Cactus

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Birds and bees do it. Flies too!

Flies do it

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Sunday, November 27, 2005

What's left of old Busch Stadium

Busch1127

The left side of this picture shows the old Busch Stadium, former home of the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team.  On the right side you can see the new Busch Stadium, probably a third completed.  They’ll finish removing old Busch in the next few weeks to make room for the new stadium which is set to open April 10th of 2006.    24/7 webcam of the site is here, though you can’t really see much after dark.

"I heard there was a mouse around here."

Digitalcat-05b

A high six

High Six

Mad dog

Drinking Bowl

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