Saturday, February 11, 2006

Baby giraffe

For Gail…..
Baby giraffe

How to take a caffeine nap

Napping in carThe Caffeine Nap is simple.  You drink a cup of coffee and immediately take a 15 minute nap.  Researchers found coffee helps clear your system of adenosine, a chemical which makes you sleepy.  So in testing, the combination of a cup of coffee with an immediate nap chaser provided the most alertness for the longest period of time.  The recommendation was to nap only 15 minutes, no more or less and you must sleep immediately after the coffee.

Researchers have found that this works better than rolling down windows for cold exposure, blasting the radio and slapping oneself in the face to try to stay awake

More here.


Even a witch needs a vacation every now and then






Big trouble

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.  His wife told him "Tomorrow, there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat."
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it up and found a brand new bathroom scale. A closed-casket viewing is scheduled for Monday.


Thought for the day

Thought 002


Way too fast!

Way too fast


No more Geico ads



The funeral

GraveAs a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends, who had died while traveling through the area.

The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost, and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.

I saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.  I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," and "Glory". I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before - from Genesis all the way to Revelations. I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. I felt I had done my duty for the homeless man and that the crew would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of my tardiness.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Thanks Phyllis

Learning a new language...

Indian_chiefA Catholic Priest was about to leave his Mission in the jungles where he spent years teaching the natives.  Then he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English, so he took the chief for a walk in the forest.  He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest was pleased with the response.  They walk a little farther and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.  As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.  The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.  The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

Thanks Fishy Mary


Old snowballSAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA - 30 years ago, (February 5th, 1976 to be exact), a 14 year old boy went out into his front yard to play in the snow. Just about all the neighbors were out, adults and kids alike: taking pictures, making snowmen, throwing snowballs, and having a lot of fun.

 So, why all the fuss? It’s just snow! Well in San Jose, California where they haven’t seen snow since, it was a rare event indeed.

In an attempt to preserve the moment, the excited kid made a snowball and put it in the freezer. Today that snowball is still in his mom’s freezer and is the oldest preserved and documented snowball on record.


More on the old snowball here.


Rejected Valentine heart candies







More here.


Friday, February 10, 2006

Mom, Dad, I want you meet Mike, my fiance

Could be ur future soninlaw


Bad joke of the day....

If big breasted women work at

where do one-legged women work?
Ihop ?

From  via


Thursday, February 09, 2006

Nice breeze

Nice breeze

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?


Talk about the shrinkage factor...



Soda that turns you on - supposedly

From Channel 6 News

Turn on soda'Banned' Aphrodisiac Soda To Be Sold In Stores
A new soda promising to sexually arouse the person drinking it will soon be available in stores nationwide, according to a Local 6 News report.

The drink, called Turn On, is made with guarana, ginseng and caffeine.  The soda was banned in France and Denmark, but makers insist it is safe and works as an aphrodisiac.  People who have tested the soda said it tastes like cherry soda.
A warning label on the can claims, "This beverage will arouse you."  Turn On is sold online for $3.50 a can and will soon be available in stores, the report said.

Those silly animals

Here’s looking at ya
Heres looking at ya

Not Stewart
Not stewart

Drinking horse

Sunning seal
Sunning seal

Thanks Phyllis