Wednesday, July 05, 2006

How to identify where a driver is from

  • DriverOne hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago
  • One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York
  • One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston
  • One hand on wheel, cradling cellphone, brick on accelerator: California. (With gun in lap: Riverside.)
  • Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
  • Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy
  • One hand on horn, one hand cradling cellphone, both feet on accelerator: Buenos Aires
  • One hand on latté, one knee on wheel, cradling cellphone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle
  • One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window: Texas city male
  • One hand constantly refocusing the rearview mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rattail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female
  • Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna, cousin/spouse in passenger seat: Arkansas
  • Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

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