It's so hot....

• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
• You can say 113 degrees (45°C) without fainting.
• You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
• Or go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on your lap -- just to cool off!
• You can make instant sun tea.
• You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• The temperature drops below 95 (35°C), you feel a bit chilly.
• You have experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
• You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
• You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
• The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
• You discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water now comes out of both taps.
• It is noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
• No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
• They don't bother making themometers that go below 70 degrees.

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