Cool stuff here.
How It's Made - Hot Dogs and Lunch Meat
How It's Made - Matrouska Dolls
How It's Made - Trumpets
How It's Made - Toilets
How It's Made - Books
How It's Made - TV Set
How It's Made - Gold
How It's Made - Harmonicas
How It's Made - Choir Bells
How It's Made - Light Bulbs
How It's Made - Umbrellas
A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler..."
A similar story with photos of a deer atop a utility pole is here.
#19 - A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.
#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.
#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.
#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you Fished with long ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.
#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for Fishing harassment
#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week - Is Fishing all You ever think about!"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
A small crowd had gathered to watch the deer struggling, its hooves repeatedly slipping, near the shore of Lake Thunderbird, near Norman, Oklahoma around 4 p.m. Wednesday.
With the helicopter's camera rolling, KWTV pilot Mason Dunn used the wind from the rotor to push the deer, initially sending it into a break in the ice where the animal managed to hold onto the ice with its front legs.
Dunn then lowered the helicopter and the wind sent the deer sliding on its belly across the ice until it reached shore and scampered into a nearby wooded area.
Had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State;
1. She wanted to taste some real Texas Bar-B-Que.
2. She wanted to take in a bona fide rodeo. And..
3. She wanted to have sex with a real cowboy.
Upon her return, the girls were curious as to how she fared.
"Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite , it's ooooh so good. The taste is unbelievable! "And I went to a real rodeo.Talk about athletes...those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop,then jump off the horses and grab the bull by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!"
They then asked, "Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?"
"Are you kidding? When I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!"
Thanks Joe P
grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and he gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. "Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell him you have a headache."
View the funny video commercial.
Note: This is a real product.
Here are just a few pictures from Worth 1000’s Photoshop contest of unlikely things.
Donald Trump ditches the wig
Ideal for butt busting activities such as truck driving, motorcycling, bicycling, horse back riding, and extreme sports. May also be applied inside footwear, under sports pads, and other areas prone to chafing. Indoors or outdoors, work or play, or on occasions when you sit on your butt all day, don’t let your buns get red, use Anti Monkey Butt Powder instead!
I’ll have to get some for my long motorcycle rides.
This is at St. Pete Beach in Florida yesterday. Temp was 83 degrees F. We flew back in to St. Louis last night into snow and 20 degrees F.
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Fred replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer,desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same palm tree.
One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared. "I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?"
"Yes, I was, " he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?"
"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunwhale from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter."
"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly.
She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
"It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!"
"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas."
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?"
"No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island."
"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.
"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable." As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time,the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely...is there anything that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now!"
"Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just...well, it was impossible."
"Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said.
The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean........??!
"Yes you can.." She breathed..
"Wow! You actually figured out some way we can check our e-mail here?!!"
Don’t try this at home, unless you’re an idiot.
Why is watching someone in pain so funny?
The guy laughing in the background is very contagious.
This is too good not to read, especially if you thought ghosts didn't exist! This happened about a month ago just outside of Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.
This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride real bad, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine could be heard over the rain. Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still to scared to jump out, he started to pray and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would surely drown.
But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again.
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally, the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and he jumped out of the car and ran and ran into town, into Willmar.
Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and with his voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey. He then told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped the barroom and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not just some drunk).
About a half hour later, two guys walked into the bar and one says nto the other, "Look, Bob, there’s that idiot that rode in our car when we was pushin' it in the rain."
And as Richard Dawson used to say on ‘Family Feud’ … “Good answer”.
I’m sure a lot these are true about a lot of states, but being from Missouri, I understand most of these. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Missouri. If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you might live in Missouri. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Missouri. If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Missouri. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Missouri. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Missouri. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN: 1. Vacation means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend but you never leave the state. 2. You measure distance in minutes it takes you to get there. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again. 5. You drive 65 mph through a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them. 9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, & It's Hot. 12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to a blue spruce. 13. "Down south" means the boot heel of Missouri. 14. A brat is something you eat. 15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed. 16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday. 17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly." 19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance. 20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is because you know that East St. Louis is not in Missouri. 21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet above sea level. 22. You never drive anywhere within 20 miles of home without there being road construction. 23. You don't believe it until you see it. 24. You know what a pork steak is. Thanks Coop |
How a CD is made Interesting.
Be sure to check out the related videos… like how jeans, bathtubs, cheese, helicopters, etc are made.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Carol goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says" We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park...
Then the electric power goes out. Carol is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With love & understanding in his voice, like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Leroy says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.?"
Thanks Phyllis
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, you must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly.
Thanks Joe P
My granddaughter has decided that her favorite ride is the escalator.
Tomorrow it’s off to Port Charlotte to visit my aunt.
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not&nb sp;to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five
things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde with a black belt in karate.
4.The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home.
You want it, you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal.
It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:
"Fridge for sale $50."
The next day someone stole it.
Caution...
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote! *
===================
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted.... "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said... "Where???"
*They Walk among us and they Vote!!*
===================
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime.
She shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!*
===================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" .
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!*
===================
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore.
She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because
the car was moving".
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!*
===================
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk...
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!*
===================
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount on both....
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!*
===================
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"...
*They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!!!*
===================
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces;
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
*Yep, THEY Walk Among Us, and, Dear Me, They Vote too !!!!!!!!*
I’m off to Florida for a few days. Should be back to posting by Wednesday.
Ya’ll be careful out there.
"God, please help me. I lost my business and if I don't get some money soon, I am going to lose my car as well. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes -- and somebody else wins.
"God, please let me win the lottery! I lost my business, my car and now I am going to lose my house as well."
Lottery night comes. No luck.
"My God, I lost my business, my car, and my house. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order."
A sudden flash of blinding light. The heavens open, and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself:
"Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
I need to be drinking to look at stuff like this. This is a photo…not a drawing. I can kind of understand how they do this with a drawing…but a real object?
Human slingshot
Dog shock collar experiment
