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Snowmen for sale

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Men vs women - Part V

Haulin ass

Quit staring at me

WARNING! Ladies, don't fall for this

The drunktionary

Ah drunk people...will they ever say what they mean? Below you’ll find some common drunk phrases and what they translate to in sober language. I hope this helps you gauge whether or not it’s a good idea to let your buddy in the car when he claims he’s “totally fine, dude.”

Dude, all the chicks at this party are ugly = Dude, none of the chicks at this party will talk to me.

Man, I’m hungry = Man, if I don’t eat right now I am going to be puking all over this bar…again.

I’m soooo drunk = I’m planting a seed in your head that will eventually grow into a beautiful tree which excuses me from blame for my actions tonight.

I just, like, want to help animals, ya know? = I just, like, want to get in your pants, ya know?

more from the Drunktionary

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Alcohol trivia

• President Lyndon B. Johnson's favorite drink may have been scotch and soda. He would ride around his Texas ranch in an open convertible in hot weather. He drank his "scotch and soda out of a large white plastic foam cup. Periodically, Johnson would slow down and hold his left arm outside the car, shaking the cup and ice. A Secret Service agent would run up to the car, take the cup and go back to the station wagon (following the President's car). There another agent would refill it with ice, scotch, and soda as the first agent trotted behind the wagon. then the first agent would run the refilled cup up to LBJ's outstretched hand, as the President's car moved slowly forward."
• As Magellan prepared to sail around the world in 1519, he spent more on Sherry than on weapons.
• The longest bar in the world is 684 feet (or about 208.5 meters) long and is located at the New Bulldog in Rock Island, Illinois.
• A tequini is a martini made with tequila instead of dry gin.
• The founder of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) no longer belongs to the organization. She resigned after it became increasingly anti-alcohol rather than simply anti-drunk-driving.
• Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected President of the U.S. in 1932 on a pledge to end National Prohibition.
• The U.S. Marines’ first recruiting station was in a bar.
• Bourbon is the official spirit of the United States, by act of Congress.
• One glass of milk can give a person a .02 blood alcohol concentration (BAC) on a Breathalyzer test. That’s enough in some states for persons under age 21 to lose their drivers license and be fined.
• Martha Washington enjoyed daily toddys. In the 1790s, "happy hour" began at 3:00 p.m. and cocktails continued until dinner.
• Beer was not sold in bottles until 1850; it was not sold in cans until 1935.
• Liquor stores in the US are called "package stores" and sell "package goods" because of laws requiring that alcohol containers be concealed in public by being placed in paper bags or "packages."
• "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" is commonly believed to be the only English sentence devised to include all the letters of the alphabet. However, typesetters have another such sentence: "Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs."
•  Alcohol consumption decreases during the time of the full moon.
• Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president of the US, stated that "It has long been recognized that the problems with alcohol relate not to the use of a bad thing, but to the abuse of a good thing."
• Beer and Bras. British men have been found twice as likely to know the price of their beer as their partner's bra size.
• One or two alcohol drinks a day can be anti-inflammatory. (Of course, always consult your physician for medical advice.)

More alcohol trivia

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World's heaviest people

Carol Yager (1960 - 1994) of Flint, MI; 5 ft 7 in, estimated to have weighed more than 1600 lbs at her peak. She had been fat since childhood. In 1993, she was measured at 1189 lbs when admitted to Hurley Medical Center, suffering from cellulitis. She lost nearly 500 lbs on a 1200-calorie diet, but most of that weight was thought to be fluid, and she regained all of it and more soon after being discharged. Her teenage daughter, a boyfriend, and a group of volunteers helped take care of her. Despite extravagant promises by diet maven Richard Simmons and talk-show host Jerry Springer, Yager received little practical assistance in return for her media exposure (though Springer continues to profit from her appearance on his show, having rebroadcast that episode at least four times). She was refused further hospitalization on the grounds that her condition was not critical, despite massive water retention and signs of incipient kidney failure, and these problems led to her death a few weeks later.

Moree of the Worlds Heaviest People

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The view from inside a water bottle

If you lived in a water bottle this is what you might see as your view of the world.  An interesting interactive panorama of life outside the bottle.  

 Life inside a water bottle. (Be sure to click and move your mouse.)

via The Presurfer

Duct tape tuxedo

Who wouldn’t want this classic?    You can get it on eBay right now. 

It’s only $149.99

Here’s the link

via The Damn Blog

Walking the dog

via EatLiver.com

A nice family picture

You take your cute kids to the beach… and decide to take their picture…. when …all of a sudden….

via EatLiver.com

Not a chance

via EatLiver.com

Finally a good use for all those AOL CD's

via EatLiver.com

Keeping score

via EatLiver.com

via EatLiver.com

The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Products Of The Future

This one is No. 5:

You know this corporation owns all your souls. Especially, when you decide to pay 5 bucks for a coffee. They're gonna go to the dark side, when they introduce the Starbucks Beer. You'll now get a chance to get buzzed and energized at the same time. But don't forget, you'll probably be paying 10 bucks, along with you best friend's soul to get one.

The complete list.

via J-Walk blog

Men vs women - Part IV

 WHO DOES WHAT
 A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said,
"You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

 The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

 Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

 So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS".

Thanks Mary