Occupational hazard of the beaver

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Last photo before being knocked onto their asses

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Houston, we have a problem

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Out for a healty run

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A bear walks into a bar.....

 A bear walks into a bar and sits down. he calls the bartender over and says “I'd like a gin … … … … … … … and tonic.”

The bartender says “okay, but why the big pause?”

The bear looks down and says ….“I dunno, I've always had them.”

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Rocket explodes seconds after liftoff

This is amazing footage of a rocket carrying a GPS2R satelite that moments after takeoff explodes dumping 250 tons of burning rocket fuel around the launch pad. 

This happened on January 17, 1997. The rocket was a unmanned Delta II flight.

Watch the video

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School of Martial Arts

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11 "Don't tell the wife" secrets all men keep

• Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you
• Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you
• Secret #3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you
• Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important
• Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house
• Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother
• Secret #7: Every year we love you more
• Secret #8: We don't really understand what you're talking about
• Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive
• Secret #10: We'll always wish we were 25 again
• Secret #11: Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime

For detail on each of these secrets click here.

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This explains a lot

Bush Pilot

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Hotel check-out

A woman rushes into the lobby of a large hotel and sprints up to the reception desk. Seeing that the only member of staff is talking on the phone, she hammers on the bell for service. The man at the desk slowly puts down the phone. Yes? he says, annoyed. Excuse me, says the woman, I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?
The clerk stares at her for a second and looks her up and down. Not bad, he smiles. Not bad at all.

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Spiders

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Long-legs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Long-legs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Long-legs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, Then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback-Mountain shit in our garden."

Thanks Gary J

I survived the Party Cove

Back after a grueling weekend of wildlife observation.  

First timer to the Party Cove at Lake of the Ozarks.   We had a beautiful Saturday on the Lake.  The weather was perfect and the wildlife was abundant.  The five other glutton lechers and I didn’t feel too out of place. 

We estimated more than 200 boats and probably more than a thousand partiers, many of whom tie up their boats in a line and party.   There were three (at least) pontoons that cruised the area selling needed items for the day, including sunscreen, sandwiches, ice, beer bongs, blow-up dolls, barely-there swimsuits and other necessary items.

Out of town

Gone to the Lake of the Ozarks…..until Sunday evening.

Nice nozzle

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Stream through

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What's wrong with this picture?

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Here's lookin at ya

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A real cutie

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How to cook your sausage

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Driving Tiger Woods

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, who knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are dose?, asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everyting!"

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