Monday, March 26, 2007

More Jack Facts

Jack-bauer-gun-767471When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Explosions do not kill Jack Bauer, they just get stuff out of his way.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fu#king Jack Bauer.

Kim Bauer was an accident.  Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer has never caught a cold.  How do we know?  Colds still exist.

Superman is one of the few individuals who could possibly survive a confrontation with Jack Bauer.  But that is only because he can fly away.

American Idol is only popular because it has a commercial for 24.

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss.  If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead.  It just makes him angry.

The Berlin Wall fell because Jack Bauer needed to get to the other side.

As a child, Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead...once.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite.  Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist.  He keeps it in a jar on his desk.

After Season 6 of 24, the Chinese will be on the Endangered Species List.

The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"

Jack Bauer once opened a crate containing Weapons of Mass Destruction and all it had in it was a mirror.

If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Anything is a weapon of mass destruction in the hands of Jack Bauer.

G.I. Joe has Jack Bauer action figures.

The safety on Jack's gun isn't there to protect Jack.  It's there to protect the gun.

Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars.  Thats why theres no life on Mars.

Jehovah's Witnesses once tried to convert Jack Bauer. After four minutes of interrogation, they admitted Jack Bauer was God.


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