Everything you ever wanted (or didn't want) to know about pigeons

Why do pigeons bob their heads?
The pigeon has side mounted eyes unlike humans and owls which have forward facing eyes.  As a pigeons have monocular vision rather than binocular vision they bob their heads for depth of perception.  The pigeon’s eyes work much better with stationary images and therefore, as the pigeon takes a step forward the head is temporarily left behind.  The next step jerks the head forward again and so on.  This allows the bird to correctly orient itself.

Why do you never see a baby pigeon?
Most small birds rear and fledge their young in 2/3 weeks with young birds sometimes leaving the nest after only 10 days of life, but pigeons are different, their young remain in the nest for up to 2 months before fledging.  This gives the young pigeon an advantage over many other species of bird. It leaves the nest as a relatively mature juvenile, allowing the bird to cope better in the first few days of its life, a dangerous time for all youngsters.  Juveniles can be told apart from adults but it takes an experienced eye. A juvenile’s beak often appears to be far too long for the size of its body and the cere (the fleshy area at the top of the beak) is white in adults and greyish pink in juveniles. 

More poop on pigeons

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Secure footing

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Country dog

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High Five

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Store thief gets his ass kicked

A dude pulls out a big knife and tries to rob a store but when the robbery starts to go bad and he leaves the owner kicks his ass and ties him up for the cops.  I like to see this stuff happen to these bad asses.

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My new RV?

It’s either this or a new Harley Ultra Classic Electra Glide …. decisions, decisions.

This might keep me dry when it rains.

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Monkey on a plane....

… and Samuel Jackson is nowhere to be found.  I heard about this driving to work this morning.  Here’s the story:

Man smuggles monkey aboard NYC bound plane

A man smuggled a monkey onto an airplane Tuesday, stashing the furry fist-size primate under his hat until passengers spotted it perched on his ponytail, an airline official said.

The monkey escapade began in Lima, Peru, late Monday, when the man boarded a flight to Fort Lauderdale, said Spirit Airlines spokeswoman Alison Russell. After landing Tuesday morning, the man waited several hours before catching a connecting flight to LaGuardia Airport.

During the flight, people around the man noticed that the marmoset, which normally lives in forests and eats fruit and insects, had emerged from underneath his hat, Russell said.

"Other passengers asked the man if he knew he had a monkey on him," she said.

The monkey spent the remainder of the flight in the man's seat and behaved well, said Russell, who didn't know how it skirted customs and security.

Link to the story

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Tips on love

Todays kids seems to have answer of all tough questions. Following are some of the questions related to love and answers provided by kids:
days considers themselves quite intelligent and think they have answer to all problems (even love matters). Following is the list of some of the questions asked and answers provided by kids... quite hilarious.
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tom, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deoderantare so popular." (Jan, 9)

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)

"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)

"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, 8)

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." (Anita, 6)

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)

SOME SURE FIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me." (Bart, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"
"The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (michelle,9)

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy,8)

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When you gotta go - you gotta go

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Brown dog

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Special Delivery

What can Brown do for you?

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My name is Cat Dracula

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The long and winding road

What a cool ride that would be.  Anybody know where this is?

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When it's OK to use the "F' word - Part 5

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Ladder holder

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Emergency room visit

The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room.

Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch that I had downloaded off the Internet onto the front of my shirt.

When I went into the E. R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

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A texas blonde

Amy, a blonde Texas city girl, marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn.

You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?" 

So the rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one.. right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me little lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple. By the nail over its stall," Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns to walk away, and with complete confidence, says: "I guess it's to hang your pants on....."

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I'm with stupid

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Clever billboard

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Where do you stand?

I’m 6 ft, 3 and a half inches tall.   I look down on lots of people.   Here are my results:

Where do you stand?
Plug in your height to see how you compare with the averages of the world's tallest countries.

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When hyphenated names are a bad idea

…Well, somebody’s gotta do it

They got themselves a new double-wide….

A few more here

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Catholic school education...

These come from a Catholic elementary school where the kids are asked questions about the Bible.  The statements were written by the children and were not changed at all.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7 MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA ! WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17.. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24 ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Thanks Joe P

S.S. Glutton

Here is some video I shot a week or so ago at the Lake of the Ozarks.  Ten of us guys were out on a pontoon boat.  We were rocking back and forth and up and down in the wake of the larger boats.   We also had ten guys on the boat…and some of these guys are big boys who sat near the front of the boat.  All of a sudden the front end of the boat appeared to go under the water…and a deluge of water burst onto the boat.  Everything in the boat started floating, including the seats these big guys were sitting on.  It didn’t last long and we got the thing under control in about a minute. 

Surprise!

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Sunning buns

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When it's ok to use the "F" word - Part 3

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Customized stool

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Nose to nose

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Hollywood rules

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape.

You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off, but luckily you’ll always blindly choose to cut the right wire.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

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Life is simple

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Early on in Segway development

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Scary isn't it?

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New at Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart announced that, sometime in 2008, it will begin offering customers a new discount item --- Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville.

"But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc

9. White Trashfindel

8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling

6. NASCARbernet

5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir

3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar

2. Grape Expectations

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel) .

P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat.

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A little church humor

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father.  "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
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There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.  "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
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"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord,"
and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
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A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.  Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times.  If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment.  Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years.  If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job.  Lead us not into temptation."
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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.  The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.  The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...  "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.  Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air.  "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.  "Really?  How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven...  "
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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.  The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him.  Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.  "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay.  It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean.  It's the same in my business."
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People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
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Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.  The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed.  Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.  He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
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The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.  Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute !  had been brought in at the last minute.  The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here' s a copy of the service," he said impatiently.  "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more.  Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

Thanks Mary

A tad skimpy

Fresh milk

But the inside is rust free

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Catching down on the news

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Jessica, the pet hippo

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Customize your keyboard

Make your own keyboard key

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Winner of a new Toyota

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When it's OK to use the "F" word - Part 2

Bragger

But it’s quality not quantity that counts, little baby.

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Thirsty?

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People Rock

 

More rock people

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Screw ' Em

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Early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

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Hide and Seek

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Trashed

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Big mouth

We’re talkin’ reeeeeeallly big mouth.

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Excedrin Headache Number 101

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Not Barbie

This woman is not Barbie.  Unfortunately she is anatomically correct.

DO NOT click here.  You have been warned. 

NSFW…. Not Safe For Work

NSFHE….. Not Safe For Human Eyes

Just don’t do it!

Barbie?

Is that you?

It must be.  She’s anatomically incorrect.

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HA HA, You missed me

Redneck of the month

This lesson is on how not to do things seems to totally escape some people.
I'd love to see how the trip ended up but I feel confident he ended up in a ravine somewhere wondering why bad things seems to always happen to him. 

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He's hooked up and ready to fly!! It's amazing how the extra weight really smoothed out the ride in the truck.
He did have to air up the rear tires a bit (around 160 psi)

He added some heavy-duty chain for extra support on the tailgate (note that he used the 'Heavy-Duty 'S' hooks to attach the chain).   He also paid-up for some BIG 5/16 sheet metal screws to attach the frame to the tailgate. Yeah, he knows it's overkill, but he didn't want the possibility of having an accident.

Much of his time was spent on his front porch whittling down that MASSIVE 4x4 board to fit precisely into the ball mount receiver. Also note that he used a 14' piece of 4x4 to help distribute the load more evenly--'YOU CAN'T BE TOO SAFE, YOU KNOW!!'. ' It cost a little more, but you just can't be too safe when pulling a trailer of this magnitude !!'.

Look out Utah , cause here he comes !!!!

Thanks Joe P