Saturday, October 22, 2005
Unusual catfish baits
Ty Freeman (didn't say where he was from) has caught several channel cats in a farm pond with candy gummy worms.
- Patrick Thibodeaux (didn't say where he was from either) caught a 7 pound catfish with a hunk of pepperoni stick.
- Isaac from North Carolina claims that he saw a man catching some big catfish in a stocked pond with mice.
- Eric Schaeffer (location unknown) claims to have caught a 14 pound catfish with a chunk of Milky Way candy bar.
- Joe Wakeman of Clearlake California says an old tried and true catfish bait is Ivory soap and I believe him since I have heard of soap being used successfully for cats before.
- Kristof Tigi (location unknown) claims to catch his catfish with saltwater taffy and bubble gum.
- ill from Lower Lake California catches his Clear Lake catfish with either one large marshmallow or 3 or 4 mini's.
- Isaac from North Carolina claims that he saw a man catching some big catfish in a stocked pond with mice.
Quotes about muskie fishing
Why didn't you go potty Before ya get on the boat??
Bud light and slimy handshakes welcome in my boat.
If you can cut it with a knife, a musky can bite thru it.
I smell something musky. Is it my fishing partner or the fish?
For fishermen it is SPORT, for muskies it is a matter of life and death.
Fish for fish where a fish would fish for fish if a fish were fishing for fish
It's hard to catch 'em when your lure's in the trees.
It's hard to catch 'em when your lure's in the trees.
The only magic lure is the wet one.
Muskies are always shallow, deep, or somewhere in between.
Always keep a knife on you, so when the 100 pounder strikes you can save yourself and your rod.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Musical breast implants
One boob could hold an MP3 player and the other the person's whole music collection.
BT futurology, who have developed the idea, say it could be available within 15 years.
BT Laboratories' analyst Ian Pearson said flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist.
According to The Sun he said: "It is now very hard for me to thing of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful."
The sensors around the body linked through the electrical impulses in the chips may also be able to warn wearers about heart murmurs, blood pressure increases, diabetes and breast cancer.
Forgot someone's name?
Names to Use When Responding to People Who Know Your Name But Whose Names You Never Learned or are Temporarily Drawing a Blank On, In Decreasing Order of Effectiveness
Bud
- You
- Guy
- Man
- Chief
- Big Guy
- My Man
- My Main Man
- Big Chief
- My Main Big Chief Guy
- Ji- am... ohn- Ste... Lou
- Darlin'
- Little Lady
- Little Darlin'
- You Fine Fat Fellow
- Sweetiecakes
- Your Holiness
- Your Bad Self
- You Sweet Thang
- You Son-of-a-Bitch
- Doug
- Thelonious
- Really Morbidly Obese Guy
- Mistah Charley
- King Kamehawhatever
- Chief Wahoo
- My Nigga
- Sweet-Tits
- Not-So-Sweet-Tits
- Chief Knockahoma
- My Chinaman
- You Big Dumb Son-of-a-Bitch--No, This Guy Knows I Love Him, Don't Ya, Asshole?
- Your Royal Jerkoffness
- Mr. Garfunkel
- Dad
Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde - My eyes are deceiving me
Do you remember the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Dr Jekyll, the famous scientist, is not all he seems, and the other side of his character - Mr Hyde - is, you will recall, a distinctly nasty piece of work.
Continuing the idea of the two sides of the human character, have a look at the picture above. On the left is Dr Angry, and on the right is Mr Smiles.
Now, back away from your computer screen. This effect will work at different distances for different people, but you should see the two characters swap over...! As you come closer to the screen again, they revert to their original characters. Spooky or what!
As optical illusions go, we think this is pretty impressive. A short explanation goes something like this. When we look at an object, we can normally see both fine detail and coarse detail. However when we are close, the fine detail will dominate, and when we are further away, we lose the fine detail, and see more of the coarse detail.
Both of the faces you see above are hybrids - each face is actually a combination of two faces. The left hand face shows an angry man in fine detail, but within the picture there is also coarse detail of the calm face. Move away, and you lose the fine (angry) detail, and just see the coarse (calm) detail.
The right hand face shows the calm face in fine detail, and the angry face in coarse detail.
This is based on work by Dr Aude Oliva (MIT) and Dr Philippe Schyns (University of Glasgow). You can read the original paper here.
See more illusions here.
Gas price variances
When I got to Lebanon three quarters of a tank later) the price at the Kum & Go gas station was $2.27 per gallon. (I noticed a station in the next block selling it at $2.26 per gallon.) I asked the clerk why the prices were so low. She said they just went down a day or two before from $2.34 per gallon. She also told me that at their highest, a few weeks ago, unleaded was $2.99 per gallon.
When I got back home the price had dropped to $269 per gallon. Wonder why the big difference.
Things I hate about people
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
Thanks Phyllis
A conversation between God and Eve
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me & provided this beautiful garden & all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that, Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat & be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster & will like to hunt & kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will
satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless & will revel in childish things like fighting & kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"
"Well ...you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, & self admiring..... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret........You know, woman to woman."
Thanks Phyllis
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Last game at old Busch Stadium in St. Louis MO
Here is a picture I took last night in the bottom of the 6th inning of the last game ever to be played at Busch Memorial Stadium. The Houston Astros beat the St. Louis Cardinals 5–1, to win the NLCS. Houston will advance to the World Series against the Chicago White Sox.
Here is a shot of the new stadium being built on the right as I left Busch Stadium (on the left).
Here is my wrinkled ticket to the last game. Home Game 3, which was game 6 of the NLCS, played on October 19, 2005. Astros took the series 4 games to 2.
I’ll post my unused World Series ticket in the next couple of days.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
16 hours of orgasms
But don’t get too excited — because those hours of joy are spread over 78 years. It means we’re actually getting a measly 2.02 SECONDS of eyeball-rolling delight every day. 
Cow abducted by UFO
You be the judge.
10 foot snake pops up in toilet
MEET Keith...a 10ft boa constrictor who has been captured after popping up in the loos at a posh block of flats.
The snake had terrified tenants since it was first spotted in a toilet last week, after living in sewage pipes for three months.
People had to put bricks on their loo seats to stop the Keith slipping into their bathrooms.
Firemen were even called in to try to track him down in the pipework.
But it was not until Saturday night that a plucky resident finally trapped him in a bucket.
Top 14 things not to do while drinking - Part II
14> Work on the opening statement for your client's murder trial.
13> Pose for your middle-school yearbook photo.
12> Begin a sentence with "Hey, watch this...."
11> Light your farts with a blow torch. Sure, it *seems* like a good idea at the time.
10> Get around to answering that email from the guy in Nigeria who says he needs your bank account number so he can apply for U.S. citizenship.
9> Approach Russell Crowe.
8> Explain to your wife how you love her more every year, because every year there's more of her to love.
7> Go cow-tipping in your Oldsmobile.
6> A) Make a visit to "Oprah" to talk about your new girlfriend.
B) Discuss the pros and cons of Ritalin with Matt Lauer.
5> Offer to give your car to anyone who can do more push-ups than you.
4> Explain the sheer genius of Scientology to those thick skulled morons at the biker bar.
3> Teach the baby her ABCs.
2> Confess to your buddies that whenever you say "Carmen Electra," you secretly mean Joy Behar.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing Not to Do While Drinking...
1> Demonstrate to your kids the importance of mowing your pool.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Live NBC News reporter caught exagerating flood conditions
NBC's Michelle Kosinski uses a canoe in one foot deep water while reporting on the flooding in Wayne, N.J.
She implied that the water was very deep when all of a sudden two guys walk into the live picture. too funny.
Dragonfly
Some really cool close-up photographs.
More really cool close-up photographs – A photo blog by Robin.
Man walks through plate glass window
Really, really good magic trick. Click here to see the video. Worth the download time.
Monday, October 17, 2005
10 things your butcher won't tell you
- 1. "I've never touched a bandsaw or even handled a side of beef."
- 2. "No special orders."
- 3. "The real money's in prepared foods — marinades, kabobs... ka-ching."
- 4. "You thought fat was bad; wait'll you get a load of the salt content."
- 5. "You are what the animal eats."
- 6. "This beef's 'all natural' — whatever that means."
- 7. "It's not all that clean back here."
- 8. "'Ground beef' is a euphemism."
- John Montana, a Boston executive, is a gourmet cook, but sometimes he just wants a burger on the grill. When the mood strikes, Montana doesn't buy any old ground beef. Instead, he selects a raw cut and asks the butcher to grind it on the spot. "That way, I know what I'm getting," he says. Excellent idea. Ground beef, especially that found in processed foods such as sausage and pizza toppings, is often extracted by a process called "advanced meat recovery," where carcasses are fed to a machine that strips soft tissue from bone. Consumer advocates warn that AMR increases the risk that spinal tissue — which can carry mad-cow disease — could be included among the processed meat. The American Meat Institute counters that the spinal cord is removed from all carcasses before being stripped. Meanwhile, the first case of mad-cow disease in domestic-raised beef was discovered in Texas this June.
- But that's not the only worry with ground beef. It's also a bacteria magnet. During the grinding process and packaging, it's exposed to air that is rife with harmful bugs including listeria, staphylococcus and salmonella. It's so difficult to prevent infection that the USDA okays ground beef with 7.5% incidence of salmonella bacteria, versus just 1% for raw cuts. Most experts agree that's a reasonable level as long as meat is cooked to an internal temperature of 160 degrees, the temperature at which most pathogens are destroyed. The problem is, that's well beyond the popular medium rare.
- Our best advice: Find a butcher with a dedicated grinder for beef — you don't want any pork or chicken mixed in — and have your beef ground at the store. Then cook your burgers thoroughly.
- 9. "These pork chops could come from anywhere."
- 10. "Tainted meat slips through the cracks all the time."
Aquaskipper
Now you can fly above the water on the latest product from Inventist! A hopping motion propels you forward while the hydrofoil gives you lift. You will continue to move at speeds of up to 17 miles per hour above the water, where there is little drag. With the AquaSkipper, you can ride on waves, try new tricks, and race your friends. Tow it behind a boat for some extra fun! Any way you use it, the AquaSkipper is fun and a great way to exercise.
FEATURES
Lightweight Only $595 here
Fast, up to 17mph
Easy to learn
Easy disassembly for transport
Lots of fun!
SPECIFICATIONS
Weight: 24 pounds
Wingspan: 7 feet
Length: 6 feet
Material: aircraft aluminum
The Top 14 Things Not to Do While Drinking
14> Trim your ear hair with a steak knife.
13> Teach Junior the value of a dollar -- by tying it to a string and heading for the titty bar.
12> Walk naked on stilts through a crocodile-infested swamp.
11> Hit the cages down the road for some batting practice. Those are monkey cages, Chief, and what Chim Chim is pitching isn't a baseball.
10> Get married. (You listening, Britney?)
9> Competitive sushi-eating.
8> Re-design your business cards to include the number for Slammer's Beach Bar.
7> Keep playing Three-Card Monte until you find that damn ace of spades.
6> Announce to your father-in-law that after much research, you've concluded your wife's good-in-bed gene must have come from him.
5> Paint your living room to match the mysterious lesions on your ass.
4> Go to a beekeeper's pinata party.
3> Star Jones.
2> Tell the Judiciary Committee how you would rule on Roe v Wade.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing Not to Do While Drinking...
1> Phone your mother. The booty-call reflex is powerful and unpredictable.
Creative domain names
In case your coffee didn't do the trick, I offer some Monday morning humor to get you going. These are courtesy of one of my favorite sites on the Web, myth-busting snopes.com. Real companies, unfortunate domain names: All are work safe.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Headlines from the year 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Thanks Mike
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Fished out
Me going for my limit (I did not succeed).
My son Dave, adjusting his Super Duper spinner near the dam.
Plenty of fishing, drinking and eating from the dozen and a half present.
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