Prius driver | Cha-Ching | Hummer driver |
| | |
| 1 gallon | |
That’s really quite a beast you’ve got there. | | Yeah, what of it? I like my vehicles big. |
| 2 gallons | |
But isn’t it the height of arrogance to drive such a gas guzzler? Especially, these days. | | Hey, it’s a free country, buddy. At least my vehicle’s made in America. |
| 3 gallons | |
Yeah, I suppose it is, everything but the gasoline that goes in it. | | Well, if you liberals would open up Alaska to drilling there would be plenty of domestic oil. |
| 4 gallons | |
Interesting, isn’t it, that when it comes to conservation of natural resources it’s the liberals who are conservative? | | I’m not short-changing my lifestyle for some made up gas crisis. |
| 5 gallons | |
I haven’t seen your rear bumper but I’m guessing there’s a W sticker back there. | | What makes you so sure? |
| 6 gallons | |
I’m guessing that not many Hummer drivers voted for Kerry. | | Not if they had any sense. And what about you? What’s on your bumper? ‘Visualize Whirled Peas’? |
| 7 gallons | |
That’s funny. Nah, just one sticker: 'Think. It’s patriotic.' | | Are you saying that because I drive a Hummer I don’t think? I think plenty. |
| 8 gallons | |
I’ll bet. Especially while you’re hanging around here at the gas station filling your tank every few days. | | Look, I’m not an asshole, okay? |
| 9 gallons | |
I never said you were. | | But you think it. |
| 10 gallons | |
There’s this game I like to play at parties. As I mingle and get to know people, I try to guess which ones would be Hummer drivers. | | So the less you like people the more likely that they would drive a Hummer? |
| 11 gallons | |
Pretty much. | | You know, I could play the same game only in reverse. |
| 12 gallons | |
Hey, I’d love to chat some more, but I’m finished here. 12 gallons. That’ll keep me going for a few weeks. Listen, take care. Good luck living with yourself. | | Happy trails, granola boy. Try to stay out of the tread in my tires with that windup toy of yours. |
| 13 gallons | |
| | What a prick. |
| 14 gallons | |
| | I’m not the asshole; he’s the asshole. |
| 15 gallons | |
| | I don’t know what this country’s coming to. |
| 16 gallons | |
| | Damn, do I look hot standing against this Hummer, or what? |
| 17 gallons | |
| | I wonder if we should have a family picture taken in front of the Hummer for our Christmas card this year. |
| 18 gallons | |
| | Darla’s gonna love those breast implants I’m getting her for Christmas. |
| 19 gallons | |
| | Look at these gas prices! I sure hope the President can do something about this. Maybe we do need to invade another Arab country. |
| 20 gallons | |
| | Bush is a fine president, you know? Maybe even as good as Reagan. I think they ought to put both of their faces up on Mt. Rushmore. |
| 21 gallons | |
| | I miss full serve gas stations. I could be sitting inside listening to Bill O'Reilly on the radio right now. |
| 22 gallons | |
| | I wonder what kind of bonus I’ll get this year. |
| 23 gallons | |
| | What we need in this country is another tax cut. That would set things right. |
| 24 gallons | |
| | Stupid hybrids. How would I tow my speed boat in one of those goddamned tin cups? |
| 25 gallons | |
| | Me an asshole. Imagine. How dare that guy judge me. People look up to me. That reminds me I need to clip my nose hairs. |
| 26 gallons | |
| | Maybe I should take this baby off-road some time. Man, that would be a blast. Nah, all that mud. I just got her detailed. |
| 27 gallons | |
| | What would Jesus drive? I’ll bet he’d drive a Hummer. |
| 28 gallons | |
| | Born in the USA, I was born in the USA – I really love that song... |
| 29 gallons | |
| | ...too bad Springsteen is a communist traitor now. |
| 30 gallons | |
| | Thirty gallons? That’s all? I’m going to be late for work again. |
| 31 gallons | |
| | Look at all these foreigners around here. Good thing I renewed my NRA membership. |
| 32 gallons | |
| | Nice weather, I should leave early and play golf at the club. |
| 33 gallons | |
| | Hey, nobody’s called me on my cell phone in like ten minutes. What’s up with that? |
| 34 gallons | |
| | I wonder how the market is doing. |
| 35 gallons | |
| | Lordy, look at that babe. She’s checking me out. Chicks dig my Hummer. And guys are jealous. That’s the flat-out truth. |
| 36 gallons | |
| | I can’t get that Prius guy out of my head. Why am I letting him bother me? |
| 37 gallons | |
| | He’s nobody. Probably one of them crazy scientists who believe in climate change. He should listen to Rush Limbaugh. Then he’d know the truth. |
| 38 gallons | |
| | Okay, I’ve got to let go. Remember, liberal Democrats are people, too. Just misguided. |
| 39 gallons | |
| | See, I am not an asshole. I’m a compassionate conservative blessed with uncommon good sense and lots of money. |
| 40 gallons | |
| | Full. Finally. Now I can be on my way. It’s gonna be a great day. Sure is good to be me. |
via Blogywood
1 comment:
This is kinda funny.. tho they did a study that shows the building of on prius is as much pollution as building and driving a hummer for 5 years. That makes them both crap to me. I love my yaris 40 mpg. and there isn't even any hybrid crap in it.
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