More great skydiving pics here. (Just click on each picture to see the next.)
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
Just another day at work in the beautiful Florida Sun!!! A Florida Power &Light crew putting in lines for an addition to the Orlando International Airport found the following in a culvert they were using...
The gator is/was 18' 2" long.
The rattlesnake roundup totaled 87.
FP&L shared these pictures.
Posted 5:41 AM
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Keep track of your lady friend .. or your daughter with Forget-me-not GPS panties.
This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.
Posted 9:03 PM
Well, neither had I until I ran across this story. BTW, you really don’t want to know what’s in them.
Apparently, they explode when grass cutters hit them when mowing tall grass. Talk about unhappy state workers.
The story is here… if you want to read it.
Posted 8:48 PM
Glass beer mug checker set. The rules haven't changed, but the stakes have. Fill each mini-mug with 1.7 oz of refreshing brew. When you take your opponent's piece, cheers! 13 frosted and 13 clear glass mini-mugs. 15" frosted glass board. Play responsibly. On sale for $29.95 at Siegler.
Posted 8:36 PM
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer,
then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg Plan
Posted 3:35 PM
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Free dog. This is a smallish yet loud dog. It is not small enough to fit in your purse, but who the fuck are you kidding, you're no Paris Hilton. Sizewize, it is somewhere between the Taco Bell dog and Benji. It is brown and white, or possibly just white but dirt caked. I think it's about a year old. I think that because it's been about a year since I've been able to sleep past 6:30am without being awakened by the barks of a meduim sized dirty dog. I don't know that it knows any tricks, but it is very skilled at shitting in my yard and barking incessantly. I think it is a boy dog, but I only think this because the owner of said dog is a misogynistic, wife beating dirt bag, and I can't imagine that he'd have a girl dog, but I could be wrong about that. I've never gotten close enough to the dog to check out its goods, so if gender is a deal breaker for you, you might want to pass on this one. I don't know this dog's name, but I can tell you that it does not answer to "JesusChristPuhleeezeShutTheFuckUp!!!" If you're looking for a dog with that name, than this is not the dog for you.
The one tricky part about this transaction is that technically, this is not my dog. In fact, there is no "technically" about it, this is definitely not my dog. This rank creature belongs to my next door neighbor, The King of Rank Creatures. What makes this whole scenario feasible is that said next door neighbor has the disposition of a drunken Boo Radley, and will almost certainly not even realize or care that you are in his yard stealing his dog. Also, as the next door neighbor, I will provide excellent look out skills.
Posted 3:57 PM
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Posted 7:59 AM
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting in the rain for the bus:
Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he/she once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him/her back. However, you may never find your perfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired had no trouble coming up with his answer.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
He simply answered: "I would give the keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."
Never forget: Think outside of the box.
Posted 7:32 AM
A record 124 pound blue catfish was caught by a Godfrey IL man on Sunday, May 23, 2005 near the Alton dam. The fish was being transported for display in a giant Cabella’s sporting goods store in Kansas City, but it died in transport. Complete story here.
Posted 6:54 AM