Saturday, June 23, 2007
Be afraid: sand castles can kill
First it was killer sharks. Then it was killer bees. Now American holidaymakers heading for the beach this summer are being warned to watch out for another lethal hazard: killer sand castles.
The US bucket and spade brigade went on full alert yesterday after research by a top physician revealed that people falling into holes dug in the sand had accounted for more fatalities in the US since 1990 than shark attacks - 16 as opposed to 12.
The article, written by Dr Bradley Maron in the New England Journal of Medicine, said sand holes and tunnels, the byproduct of building sand castles and other juvenile beach fortifications, could turn into deathtraps with horrifying speed.
Although such incidents were extremely rare, Dennis Arnold, who runs a beach patrol at Martha's Vineyard, off Cape Cod in Massachusetts, said lifeguards were under orders to stop children digging deep holes. Occasionally some parents protest, he said. "They'll say 'You're ruining my kid's day!' and I say 'I don't care!'," Mr Arnold was quoted as saying.
34 uses for soda other than quenching your thirst
Here are just a few:
1. Clean Car Battery Terminals.
There's acid in almost all carbonated drinks. And that helps strip corrosion from car battery terminals. Pour some soda over the battery terminals and let it sit for a while. Wipe off the residue with a wet cloth.13. Loosen Clogged Drains.
If your sink is draining slowly and you don't have any drain cleaner in the house, pour a 2-liter bottle of cola down the drain and let the acids go to work on the clog.23. Ease a Sore Throat.
By gargling with soda you can loosen the phlegm causing the irritation.27. Get Rid of Skunk Odor.
Pissed off Pepè Le Pew and now you aren't allowed in the house? Sponge down with some cola and hose yourself off. Again, those handy acids work to neutralize the stink.32. Prevent Flatulence.
Adding a can of coke to a pot of pinto beans when cooking is supposed to neutralize the gas-causing compounds. (Belching? Another story.)
Another Sopranos analysis
A lengthy and interesting analysis of the Sopranos finale by writer Bob Harris. He’s written for television and describes what he thinks are many, many intentional clues as to what happens at the last supper of Tony Soprano and his family. He talks about how the color in scenes is so effective in creating moods and setting the stage for events to come. He also talks about the music choices and what they mean.
Other things to think about:
- Tony was wearing what appears to be the same shirt in the final scene as he was wearing when he was shot by Uncle Junior.
- Everyone in the final scene is wearing black.
- Orange plays a prominent role in the final episode (as it did in the Godfather)
- The diner scene is reminiscent of the Last Supper painting
- The bell on the door rings six times when people enter ….. the call to mass
- Did A.J. get whacked too…. or the entire family?
There are several links out to more information. In a comment on one of these links was what I thought was a very interesting theory. There was much talk about Bobby wondering whether you actually know when you’ve been whacked which aired a few episodes back. This particular commenter thinks that it is you, the viewer, that got whacked. That’s why the screen went to black. I find that a very interesting theory to help explain the sudden ending to the series. Of course it also leaves open the possibility of a movie or sequel in the future.
Friday, June 22, 2007
3 Riddles
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
--------------------------
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
--------------------------
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Three things....
Then there was the soldier who was talking to Chelsea Clinton.
She asked him about fear.
He said there were only 3 things he was afraid of ....
....Osama, Obama, and Yo Mama.
Pepsi, airplanes and cannibals
There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
It suddenly had a malfunction and went down.
A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane.
They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew.
They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
The chief says, "Yeah".
When asked where the crew was the chief replied,
"We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi."
The rescue crew was shocked.
One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi."
Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
The chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi".
After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added,
"Did you...you know... eat their.... things"?
The chief says, "No."
"No?" asked the rescuers.
"NO", replied the chief,
"THINGS go better with COKE!"
Elvis alive?
Nah! Not unless you believe this guy.
This is just an age progression photo showing what the King would look like mow if he had lived to be 72.
You can see what you’ll like like when you’re older… or what someone looked like when they were younger.
And it’s on sale till the end of June – Only $99
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Heaven and Hell
In Heaven:
The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell:
The cooks are Mexicans,
The policemen are South Africans,
The mechanics are Chinese,
The lovers are Australians,
The bankers are Russian.
Electronic fly catcher
The fly catcher is an electronic fly-swatting device based on the idea of the Venus fly trap. The Fly Catcher is not just a talking point, it actually catches flies.
Each unit comes with a packet of non-toxic bait (more can be purchased as required) which is hidden inside the mouth of the trap. The bait attracts the fly, which crosses two sensors as it walks down the surface of the jaws. These sensors activate the jaws which then snap shut, killing the fly humanely. Once swatted the mouth re-opens with a burp, indicating it is ready for the next fly.
Get yours here. (England)
Telephone poll
The latest telephone poll taken by the Florida Governor's office, asked whether people who live in Florida think illegal immigration is a serious problem:
29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
71% of respondents answered: "No es una problema seriosa"
Guiness record fits boy to a T
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — With 117 T-shirts covering his 111-pound frame, 12-year-old Austin Crow compared the experience to wearing a body cast.
A little later Wednesday, as he closed in on his effort to wear 168 T-shirts and earn a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records, he had more to say.
"I'm bored. I need a video game,'' he said.
Donning 168 T-shirts and breaking the record took nearly three hours and gave the sixth-grade boy the look of a wrestler.
Close encounters with the rich and famous
What are the rich and famous really like. MetaFilter has the answers.
Here are just a few from the list:
- James Woods - Stepped on his toes at the after party for the premiere of The Commitments in Chicago. He was a total prick. So, yeah... much like his image.
- Steve Martin - very funny after I literally bumped into him.
- Penn Jillette: awesome and exactly like you'd expect. He has frogs named Columbo and Mrs. Columbo. Columbo has, of course, one eye. His house is like a fantasy of a three year old when you still wish your house could have secret passageways.
- Matthew McConaughey: talkative. Dumb, but talkative. And really, when you're looking at that face and listening to that voice, you don't care what the words are. If you ever meet him, ask him about working with Jodie Foster. The story is too funny for words.
- Tom Hanks: So nice that one suspects he must have some deep, dark secret. Like bodies hidden in his basement or something. It's just not possible to be that nice.
- Jimmy Fallon showed up at the local watering hole recently, and was amazingly patient with the hordes of university kids with cameras trying to strike up conversations with him.
- Jamie Farr--nice, nice man. Personal friend of my in-laws. Not nearly as dumb as Klinger
- I was sitting on a couch in a bar in NYC and suddenly realized that Paul Shaffer was sitting next to me. He bought me a drink.
- Jim and Tammy-Fae Baker had their compound across the lake from my grandparents in South Carolina. Tammy was, of course, a big jerk to all within shouting range.
- And back when I was bartending, the late Charles Bronson would come in from time to time. He didn't want anyone to interact with him aside from the help. He was cordial but you could kind of tell that he'd already imagined killing you while he was giving you his order.
- Steve Guttenberg- a little too friendly, came on a little strong, was polka-dancing with us and drinking my beer
- Carl Reiner - Wonderfully nice, sweet man. Could be your grandfather. He even gave me a hug!
- Jack Nicholson while filming the 'The Witches of Eastwick' in Marblehead, MA came out in the rain to shake hands with everyone hanging around the building they were using for filming.
Many, many more… and many of whom I’ve never heard of.
We is dead
I posted about this snake last year. He died last weekend. At that time We was for sale for $15,000. Glad I didn’t invest in it.
Blondes and a drunk
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"
The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."
Thanks Joe P
Quote of the day
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me." — Emo Philips
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Computers - Male or Female?
Reasons to believe computers are female:
- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
- The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
- Picky, picky, picky.
- They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
- Beauty is only shell deep.
- When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing"
- Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
- Always turning simple statements into big productions.
- Smalltalk is important.
- You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
- They make you take the garbage out.
- Miss a period and they go wild!!!
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Reasons to believe computers are male:
- They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
- A better model is always just around the corner.
- They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
- It is always necessary to have a backup.
- As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
- The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
- Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
- They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
- They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
- Size does matter!
Genie
Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices something unusual. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"
The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man came oozing out. He said that he was the Genie and he can grant me a wish. And I said, 'C'mon, no shit.'"
10 Commandments for motorists
The Vatican yesterday issued a set of "ten commandments" aimed at advising motorists on the moral aspects of driving.
The 36-page document, called "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road", covers everything from road rage and respecting pedestrians to drinking and driving.
The "ten commandments" for motorists, as listed by the document, are:
1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.
How about adding a few more:
- Thou shalt not apply eye make-up at speeds greater than 55 mph
- Tho shalt not smoke in your car when there are children aboard
- Tho shalt not use your stereo volume bass to excavate my dental fillings
- Thou shalt keep a minimum of one hand on or near the wheel most of the time
- Tho shalt not give me the finger when I honk at you when you don’t move after the light turns green
- Thal shalt not stop in the exact middle of the street to chat with your homeboys (inner city problem)
- Thou shalt not tailgate and make me slam on my brakes
- Tho shalt not drive your semi 5 mph right next to another semi in construction zones
- Thou shalt turn thy blinker off after making the turn.
I could go on and on…..
Are people really this stupid?
Chaser – 9/11 Quiz
Australian TV show The Chaser recently went to New York and asked some American citizens what date the September 11 attacks occurred on.
'Thing" is back to work
Apparently “Thing” from the Adams Family has dropped from the unemployment line and finally found work.
A brand new island is born
After seeing the very strange sight of sand floating on water…
… people on the yacht ‘Maiken’ spotted ash and steam rising from the Pacific Ocean…
… and low and behold… a new island is born in the South Pacific.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Amazing laser magic show
World Champion of Magic Jason Latimer creates a fantastic show with an amazing series of laser illusions.
Why are pound and ounce abbreviated "lb." and "oz"?
“Lb.” stands for libra, the basic unit of Roman weight, from which our present-day pound derives. The libra weighed a little under 12 ounces avoirdupois.
“Oz.” stands for the Italian onza, ounce. It came into use in the 15th century. Ounce comes from the Latin uncia, a 12th, which is also the source of the term “inch.”
Hillary spoofs Sopranos finale
WASHINGTON (CNN) — It’s not everyday the Clintons would want to be compared to the Sopranos.
But in a gimmick intended to drum up buzz for her campaign’s new theme song, Democratic White House hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton, and her husband, former President Bill Clinton, star in a new video that parodies the HBO mob show’s famously (or infamously) ambiguous final episode.
In the Web video, Bill and Hillary Clinton are seated in a busy diner as Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” plays in the background. The couple flips through the diner jukebox, looking over the nominees for the campaign song. The actor Vincent Curatola, who played Johnny “Sack” Sacramoni in the HBO series, makes a cameo appearance, walking by the table and suspiciously eyeing Hillary. Like Meadow Soprano in the final episode, Chelsea Clinton – not seen – is supposedly outside the diner parallel parking.
As Hillary decides on a song, Bill muses: “My money’s on Smashmouth.”
The video also pokes fun at Bill Clinton’s long-publicized struggle with weight. Hillary orders a basket of carrot sticks for the table, to which Bill responds, “No onion rings?”
The anticipation builds to when Hillary is about to announce the song contest winner, and then …..
Redneck logic lesson
Two Rednecks, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.
Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes." Bob agrees that it's a good idea.
The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Jim asks, "what's that?"
The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a lawnmower?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically speaking, because you own a lawnmower, I think that you would have a yard."
"That's true, I do have a yard."
"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Yes, I do have a house!"
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."
"I have a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."
"Yes, I do have a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be heterosexual."
"I am heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a lawnmower."
Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he has signed up for Math, English, History and Logic.
"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"
"I'll show you," says Jim. "Do you have a lawnmower?"
"No."
"Then you're gay....."
Thanks Gary
Doctors orders
Bill's friend Harry says to the bartender, "A glass of your finest Less, please."
"Less? Never heard of it."
"C'mon, sure you have."
"No, really, we don't stock it. What is it? Some kind of foreign beer?"
"I'm not sure. It was my doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink Less."
50 things you need to know by 50
Here are a few:
- 3. Law of the Olive Garden
The waitress is not hitting on you. Being friendly is her job. - 6. How to Lose Weight
Eat. Less. - 20. You are not going to win the lottery.
- 32. Don't try to talk like a teen. By the time you understand their lingo, it won't be cool anymore.
- 43. Make Friends Offer to drive people to the airport.
- 50. If someone says "Smell this," don't.
Top 10 physical transformations for a movie role
Here is number 4:
This young lady Charlize Theron, made us believe she was a homicidal maniac in Monster.
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