Art with feeling

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Are we there yet?

We’re almost there…

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Inverted celebrities

Take their eyes and lips and invert them and see what they’d look like.    Here are a couple of samples:

     

   

Larger and more of these here

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When athiests come calling....

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Out for a walk...

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Ambigrams

Ambigram n., - a word or words that can be read in more than one way or from more than a single vantage point, such as both right side up and upside down.

      

Pumpkin “Harley”

And one I’ve posted before….
 

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Collective nouns

One of the craziest oddities of the English language is that there are so many different collective nouns that all mean "group" but which are specific to what particular thing there is a group of: a herd of elephants, a crowd of people, a box of crayons, a pad of paper, etc. There is great diversity of collective nouns associated with animals, from a sleuth of bears to a murder of crows. The following is a list of the correct terms to describe groups of various types of animals.

Here are just a few that I’ve never hear of:

• drove of pigs


• herd of pigs


• farrow of pigs (piglets)


• sounder of pigs (wild pigs)


• cartload of monkeys


• troop of monkeys


• clowder of cats


• clutter of cats


• glaring of cats


• pounce of cats


• dout of cats (house cats)


• nuisance of cats (house cats)


• kendle of cats (kittens)


• kindle of cats (kittens)


• destruction of cats (wild cats)


• rhumba of rattlesnakes


• convocation of eagles


• prickle of hedgehogs


• bloat of hippopotami


• memory of elephants


• congregation of crocodiles


• charm of hummingbirds

There are many, many more here.

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Fly Guy

A cute flash animation game.  Fly your guy and see what you can discover.

Click picture to play.

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Strange trees

More strange trees

To Morrow

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Mom, please..... not in front of the mouse...

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The pig is a hero... or the hero is a pig

A traveling salesman was driving through a rural area one day when he passed a farmhouse and barn. Next to the barn he saw a pig pen, and in the pig pen was a very large hog. The surprising thing was that the hog had only three legs; the right rear leg was completely gone.

Spotting the farmer near the driveway, the salesman slowed down and then turned in, tooting his horn. He stopped the car, got out, and greeted the farmer.

"Good afternoon, sir," he said, "I was just passing by and saw your hog there. That's really amazing, I've never seen an animal missing a leg like that. Looks like he gets around okay."

"Yep, he does at that," drawled the friendly farmer, "He does just fine."

"What happened to his leg, sir?", asked the salesman.

"Well now, that there's a miracle pig...yessir...a real hero," stated the farmer. "Six months ago me and the old lady was asleep in our bed, and in the middle of the night or house caught fire and was burning down. That there pig broke out of his pen, ran up to the house, busted through the front door, ran up the steps squealing and oinking like crazy! The commotion woke us up and we were able to get out of the house alive and call the fire department! Yessir, a real hero, that pig is!"

"But I don't understand, sir...how did he lose his leg?" the salesman asked again.

The farmer looked over fondly at the pig and said, "After the fire, the wife and I decided...well sir, a hero pig like that...we just couldn't bear to eat him all at one time!"

Thanks Old Master

WHERE TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.

Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.                                                         
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.

Thanks Gene

Golf truisms

Only a true golfer will understand these…

• Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.


• Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.


• When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.


•  If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: You can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.


•  The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.


•  No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.


• The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.


• If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.


• Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.


• A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.


• It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt .. for a 10.


• Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.


• Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.


• It's not a gimme if you're still away.


• The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree


• There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the way you meant to play it.


• You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.


• If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. 


• Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three. 


• When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start


• watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.


• Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe. 


• If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard. 


• To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing


• 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph. 


• There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands:


•  how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.


• Hazards attract; fairways repel.


• You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade on the ball, but no golfer can put a straight on the ball.


• A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.


• If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint. 


• It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard.


• Sometimes it seems as though your cup moveth over.


• A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.


• Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.


• A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are...that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.


• That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.


• If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.


• Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen.  And you need to buy fresh ones each week.


• A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.


• It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps. 


• If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably hot an eight (or worse).


• You probably wouldn't look good in a green jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine. 


• It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart if you are performing brain surgery.

Thanks Gene

Little Red Riding Hood was delicious

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Free at last...

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CD self portrait

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A human interest story

A young journalism student was assigned to write a human interest story. He went into the mountains to do some research. There, he found an old farmer sitting on his porch, introduced himself, and explained his mission.

The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you really happy?"

After a moment, the farmer said, "Yeah, one time my neighbour's daughter, a fine looking gal, got lost. We formed a posse and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home."

"I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can't you think of anything else that happened that made you happy?"

The farmer thought for a minute and smiled, "Yep! One time a neighbour's sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. Then we all screwed it, and then took it back home."

Again, the young man said, "I can't print that, either. Let's try another approach. Has anything ever happened around here that made you really sad?"

The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed, and after a few seconds he looked up timidly at the young man and said,

"This one time, I got lost…."

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Relax

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Record snowfall report from the National Weather Service

Here’s the scoop form the National Weather Service Bulletin….

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Human shadow blocks

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Strike Tree...

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3th Floor

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Alaska is huge!

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Wanderer

Far from home….

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It's official.... I'm going to Hell

I can’t help it.   This made me laugh out loud. 

Yeah, I’m a cruel bastard…but this cat is really stupid.   He could have let go of the chain a little sooner. 

I’ll be he doesn’t try that again any time soon.

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A free ride... with a view

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McSpider

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The Internet

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Testicles

An oldie, but certainly a goodie….

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
'Nurse,'.... he mumbles, from behind the mask, 'are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again............ 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he might elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.  She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and carefully takes his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.  Then she takes a close look, and gently replaces his gown and bedding.  'There's nothing wrong with them, sir.'
With difficulty, the man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says slowly,  'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely.   'ARE-MY-TEST-RESULTS-BACK?'

Thanks Mary

Kids, dirt and soap.... the perfect mix

 
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Cheers.... ooops

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Cowboy poetry - Buying a bra

I ain't much for shopping,
Or for goin' into town
Except at cattle-shipping time,
I ain't too easily found.

But the day came when I had to go -
I left the kids with Ma.
But 'fore I left, she asked me,
'Would you pick me up a bra?'

So without thinkin' I said, 'Sure,'
How tough could that job be?
An' I bent down and kissed her
An' said, 'I'll be back by three.'

Well, I done the things I needed,
But I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing -
I worked me up a sweat

I walked into the ladies shop
My hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn't want to take a chance
On bein' recognized.

I walked up to the sales clerk -
I didn't hem or haw -
I told that lady right straight out,
'I'm here to buy a bra.'

From behind I heard some snickers,
So I turned around to see
Every woman in that store
Was a'gawkin' right at me!

'What kind would you be looking for?'
Well, I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before,
'Thought bras was bras,' I said.

She gave me a disgusted look,
'Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Follow me,' I heard her say,
Like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
I thought my jaw would hit the floor
When I saw that lingerie.

They had all these different styles
That I'd never seen before
I thought I'd go plumb crazy
'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel
Like you ain't wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.

Well , I finally made my mind up -
Picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, 'Bag it up,'
And figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size
I didn't hesitate
I knew that measurement by heart,
'A six-and-seven-eighths.'

'Six and seven eighths you say?
That really isn't right.'
'Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive -
I measured them last night!'

I thought that she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.

'That's what I use to measure with,
I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am.'
This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered
And they all was crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured,
I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, 'Good day.'

My wife had heard the story
'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For women's underwear.

~ Author Unknown ~

Thanks Gene

A visit to the fortune teller...

A young man went to a fortune teller. Gazing into her crystal ball, the old lady asked,  “What is your dream, young man? What do you want to do with your life?”
 
“I want to become a great writer.
 
"How do you define great?” she asked.
 
“I want to write things that the whole world will read, Things that people will react to on a truly emotional level, Things that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger.
 
”The fortune teller reassured him, “It will be so.”
 
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.”

Thanks Sweet Mary

Wildest Christmas dinner

This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinner. This won first prize.

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
 
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll.
 
They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart.  I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
 
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?'
You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted  to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the carpool lane during rush hour.
 
Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled on 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination.
 
On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.  My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
 
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but left the dog confused.  She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the
traditional Christmas dinner.
 
My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked. My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'
 
'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. 'Where are her clothes?'Granny continued.
 
'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay, my brother said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' Again, I could have answered, but why would I?  It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny! Hang on!'
 
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later, I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
 
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.
 
The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants and Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
 
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my mother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.
 
Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

Thanks Joe P

Welcome a sparkling new year

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Nun Fun

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Croc Island

(I don’t know if this is a crocodile or alligator, but I’m sure someone will let me know.) Regardless, it’s a cool picture.

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Birdwatching....

“He was here just a minute ago.”

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Mouse tank

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Blogging payola

There is money in blogging…. just not quite this much.

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Pregnant women

A gorgeous woman gets into a taxi. She says, "To the airport, please."

After a few minutes, the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says, "You're third pregnant woman I've driven to the airport today."

The woman, indignant, says, "You must be kidding. I'm not pregnant."

The taxi driver says, "Well, you haven't arrived at the airport yet, either."

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Drug bust... and then some

Watch as the police bring out “evidence” during this live remote news broadcast.  Timing is everything.

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For that second childhood...

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Wipeout on the highway

Another day…. another idiot.  There seems to be an endless supply.

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Snake eats golf balls...

An x-ray showing four golf balls stuck inside a carpet python.

Read all about it

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African pole dancer

Everyone is posting this.  It’s pretty amazing.  Except the guys whistle is damn annoying.   Filmed at the Nile High Camp in Jinja, Uganda.

Van Wacko

No arguments from me Mr Wacko.

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Dangerous skies

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Sporty condoms

He Shoots! He Scores!

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High ten

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Please take one

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Honeymoon surprise

Stories from the ER.

Read all about it

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The chicken business

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs.

 The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

 The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!  John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming , would run for cover.

 But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of the old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

 The result...The  judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize, but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

 Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

 VOTE CAREFULLY. . . the bells are not always audible . . . . . .

Thanks Gene

Is it getting hot in here... or is it just me?

Bits & Pieces Reader Gary R sends along this instruction sheet for a heater he just bought.   I read it the first time and didn’t get it.  So I re-read it and highlighted the interesting part.

A new kind of maximum.

Thanks Gary

No Parking

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Fishing friends

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Frozen flowers

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Dyslexics

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100 things we didn't know last year

The most interesting and unexpected facts can emerge from the daily news stories and the Magazine documents some of them in its weekly feature, 10 things we didn't know last year. To kick off 2008, here are some of the best of last year. 

Here are ten:

1. Coach travel is the safest form of road transport in the country.
More details

2. Saddam Hussein's codename while in US custody in 2004/5 was "Victor".
More details

3. Adding milk to tea negates the health-giving effects of a hot brew.
More details

4. The word "jaywalking" came from the US slang "jay", a term popular in the early 20th Century meaning a rustic newcomer unfamiliar with city ways.
More details

5. Cloudy apple juice is healthier than clear, containing almost double the antioxidants which protect against heart disease and cancer.
More details

6. Dishcloths are purged of 99% of their bacteria during two minutes in a microwave.
More details

7. A haddock's mating call starts as a slow knocking sound, before turning into a quicker hum similar to a small motorcycle revving its engine.
More details

8. Newcastle is the noisiest place in England.
More details

9. The people who built Stonehenge lived at an ancient village in Durrington Walls.
More details

10. Brazil nuts are seeds encased in an outer shell that weighs more than 1kg.
More details

The complete list

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Ferrets

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I've renewed your contract for 2008

After serious & cautious consideration.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2008!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!

My Wish for You in 2008

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words ............ 
 
May 2008 be the best year of your life!!!

Thanks Joe P

Nothing

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Aviation pioneer

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Pool yuck

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Happy New Year

I want to thank all the Bits & Pieces readers and those who comment on the posts…especially the clever ones.  I wish I could think as well as some of you when I’m coming up with captions.   I want to especially thank all the people who publish posts on their websites where I steal borrow the material I use.  If they didn’t do the hard work I wouldn’t have anything to post… except more pictures of my motorcycle rides.

We’re approaching 3.9 million hits on Bits & Pieces.  That alone is just unbelievable to me.  I sincerely thank you.

I’m going to a new Years Eve party tonight that is featuring Tom Hemby with a local  band – Triple Play.  He and the band leader are lifelong friends.  Mr Hemby, an acoustic guitarist,  is a Grammy winner and has four Dove Awards.  I’m looking forward to his music…. and the rest of the band.

 I hope you all have a safe and fun New Years Eve.    I’ll be back “next year” with more Bits & Pieces.    Happy New Year!

A few things from the regulars:

Americans love lists…

Top 10 news stories of 2007

 Reuters Pictures of the Year 2007

Top 10 movies of 2007 (Time)

Best 19 movies you didn’t see in 2007  (He’s right, I didn’t see any of them)

Top 10 stupid criminals of 2007

 The Top Ten Stories You Missed in 2007

Top 10 hottest videos of 2007

Biggest assholes of 2007 by Bill Maher

Top 10 Bushisms of 2007

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
2007 idiot of the year award

Watch the ball drop on the Times Square Webcam

Top 10 cities of the world

Top 10 baby names in the U.S. for 2007

Maxim Magazine’s Top 10 best and worst things to happen to men in 2007

Top 30 best blogs of 2007  (Bits & Pieces is nowhere to be found in this list)

Top 10 quotes of 2007
According to Fred R. Shapiro, the editor of the Yale Book of Quotations.

1. "Don't Tase me, bro." -- Andrew Meyer

2. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us." -- Lauren Upton

3. "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country." -- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

4. "That's some nappy-headed hos there." -- Don Imus

5. I don't recall." -- Alberto Gonzales

6. "There's only three things he (Rudy Giuliani) mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and 9/11." -- Joseph Biden

7. "I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody (Dick Cheney) who has a 9 percent approval rating." -- Harry Reid

8. "(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom." -- Larry Craig

9. "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." -- Joe Biden

10. "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history." -- Jimmy Carter

Get button here

Happy New Year!

Tired dog

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.  I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position  in the hall, and slept for an hour.  This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

Thanks Gene

Viagra advertising

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How clouds are made....

…at the cloud factory.

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Used condoms are cheaper....

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Weapon of Self Destruction

Russian Roulette Pistol

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Beautiful plantlife

Get your mind out of the gutter.

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Leap of faith

The first step is the hardest.

It’s not the fall… it’s the sudden stop at the bottom.

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Hummer H2

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Lose your glasses?

Emergency glasses

If you wear glasses, then you know how challenging it can be to find your glasses if you have laid them down and can't remember where you put them. You need your glasses to find your glasses. This is a way that you can make a quick, emergency pair of glasses for yourself or someone else that needs them.

How to make an emergency pair of glasses

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Man cold

A sketch from BBC TV series Man Stroke Woman.

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Random thoughts

• There are two sides to every divorce . . . Yours and Shithead's.


• The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.


• Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: 'Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!'


• I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.


• I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.


• Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.


• I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.


• The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.


• If life deals you lemons, make lemonade . . if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary's.


• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.


• Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.


• I am a nobody.. Nobody is perfect ... and therefore I am perfect.


• Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.


• That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have 'Schiffer Brains.'


• No one ever says 'It's only a game!!' when their team is winning.


• Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?


• How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.


• Marriage changes passion . . . suddenly you're in bed with a relative.


• Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?


• Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

Thanks Gene

Another day at the beach

This is somewhere in China.

Thanks Gene

Unplayable playground

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Lamb post

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An ant at work

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"...and that's why we need to invade Canada. Any questions?"

From commenter ~Q~ at J-Walk Blog

Early days of computer technology

More Early Computer Wonders

Workplace hazard

“Catch this”

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Breaking News....

Think this might be Photoshopped?

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Don't you hate when this happens?

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