Sold As Is
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Perverted Xmas Tail
On Prancer
A couple of my inebriated friends created this Perverted Xmas Tail at a recent Christmas party.
Turn your old stolen shopping cart into a nice colorful chair
Old shopping carts often meet their demise when they are given the boot due to unaligned wheels or exposed wire. Happily, Reestore Managing Director Max McMurdo is able to ‘reestore’ life into even the most battered old trolleys, transforming them into a beautiful yet functional collection of chairs.
Two different stories - Same newspaper
The December 14th issue of the Lewiston Tribune, page 1A ran two substantial photos: In one, a husky man in a black-and-blue checkered coat is seen hanging Christmas decorations in a shop window. In the other, a surveillance camera shows a convenience-store customer’s unattended wallet being swiped by . . . a husky man in a black-and-blue checkered coat. Local police noticed the similarities, and quickly arrested the hapless criminal mastermind for felony second-degree theft.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Weeweechu
Thanks Gary J
It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.
Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.
"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.
Please, Corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."
Thanks Gary J
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Unnecessary censorship
One Year of Jimmy Kimmel’s Unnecessary Censorship. It’s amazing how one little beep changes the whole message.
Married life - Going to the bar
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.
“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses… ”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie h?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
“But my sweet honey…at the bar….you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”
“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…”LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN’ HORS D’OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKIN’ BAR! THAT SH*IT IS OVER… GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”
…and they lived happily ever after.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Guess your number
Just follow the instructions. The computer will guess what number you picked. Pretty cool…but not too hard to figure out how it’s done.
Thanks Joe P
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Football is so exciting....
…Just ask the guy in the background if you don’t believe me.
Thanks Joe P
Official symbol
After 5 years of heated debate, the Commission of Human Rights approved the new International Symbol of Marriage.
Thanks Joe P
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