Custom cake from Wal-Mart

Some people at an office were having a going away party the other day for a woman that is leaving.

One of the supervisors called a Walmart and ordered the cake. he told them to write: “Best wishes Suzanne” and underneath that write “we will miss you”.
Here’s the cake that was delivered:

They didn’t even spell ‘underneath’ correctly.

That reminds me of the cake my daughter ordered from Dairy Queen for my 55^th birthday a couple years ago…OK, a few years ago.  This was “professionally” done.  She was in tears when she picked it up.  I thought it was hillarious.

Kitty Kitty Gang Bang

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Slip and Slide

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What kind of blogger are you?

I took the quiz….. here are my results:

If you’re a blogger, take the test.  If you’re not then it won’t make much sense to you.

Other tests about blogging

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A few cool ads

More cool ads

Alzheimers

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Awesome Iris

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Slug porn

WOW!  Slug slime… slug penises…… and all about the slug mating ritual.  
If you don’t learn something watching this video… then you’re too smart already.

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Support T.W.A.T.

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Bad police dog

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There is a God!

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New AARP banners

Thanks Donnie Mac

Don't worry ma'am.....

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Booster bird

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Nice pair of acorns

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Celebrate Diversity

I’ll drink to that!

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Southwest Airlines Pre-Flight safety announcement

Southwest Airlines has the best pre-flight announcements.   They do their best to make drab, but important information a little more tolerable for the passenger.

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Redneck tanktop

The only thing missing is the skidmark.

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How to turn $2 into $2

Very well done by this young man.

 

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Future Sue Grafton books

Sue Grafton is an author who writes mystery novels using each letter of the alphabet in the book title.  For example:  A is for Alibi, B is for Burglar, C is for Corpse, etc.  Her latest T is for Trespass is out this year.  The question is, what will she do when she gets through Z?
  Here are some ideas:

• "/" Is for Slash


• ":" Is for Colon Cancer ... or Is It?


• "F1" Is for Help


• "," Is Almost for Coma


• "#" Is for #27


• "^" Is for Caret-id Artery


• "~" Is for Tilde-ath


• "Ctrl+X" Is for Cut

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Fun thought of the day....

Half of all marriages end in divorce.

That's not as bad as it sounds.

The other half end in death.

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Still waiting...

 

 I did what you told me...

I sent the email to 10 people like you said.

I'm still waiting for that miracle to happen .

Thanks Gene

Bird dog pups available soon

  If anyone's interested..
 I got a buddy who's going to have some bird dog pups available soon. I'd imagine they'd be pretty awesome duck retrievers. take a look at the blood line.

Thanks Joe P

Halloween is coming...

Got your costume yet?

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Hot bike

From the California wildfires. 

23 more pics here.

Anti-theft device

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U.S. Border Patrol Stop

http://view.break.com/280271 - Watch more free videos

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Hanging out at home

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This just in....

Read the story

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Dog house

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Car doggy door

Hope he doesn’t decide to go out on the highway…

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Alqaeda terrorist trap

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Anagrams for Ann Coulter & Rush Limbaugh

Ann Coulter
 Unclean Rot
Corneal Nut
Rectal Noun
Cannot Rule
Loaner Cunt
Annul Recto
Can Lure Not
Real Con Nut
Real Cunt On
An Ulcer Not
La Cunt En Or

Rush Limbaugh
Hamburg Lush I
Bah Girl Humus
Lumbar Hug His
Magi Bush Hurl
Sigma Hub Hurl
Ham Hubris Lug
A Big Hurl Mush
A Bug Him Hurls

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McPizza

Using McDonald's food as pizza toppings…

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St. Louis' new slogan

St. Louis tourism officials have “purchased” a new slogan for the city of St. Louis to promote tourism.     Many people here (my home town) are upset with the new logo and slogan.   No one locally calls our city  St. Lou.  It’s St. Louis!

To ad insult to injury we found out the All Within Reach part of the slogan is already the slogan for two other cities.  This only cost our city $47,000 in consultant fees.

In an effort to help the city come up with a new slogan, Fark.com asked its readers to submit their ideas.  Here are just some of them:

• St. Louis: At least we are not on fire!


• St. Louis, hey, at least you like us at Mardi Gras


• St. Louis, Gateway to Elsewhere


• St. Louis: Come for the Arch 'cause there's nothing else to do.


• St. Louis: It's like Branson, but without the entertainment


• St. Louis, where america should have stopped.


• St.Louis: Where our baseball teams occasionally plays in October, unlike that team up north that plays in a park named after chewing gum.


• St. Louis, it's practically Illinois.


• BEAT ME in St. Louis!


• St. Louis: Fading in relevance since 1764.


• Saint Louis: Putting the "Loo" in Louis and the "ain't" in Saint.


• St. Louis: what do you mean you've never heard of a pork steak?


• St. Louis - we've changed, we're not a French city anymore


• St. Louis: For the Love of God, Don't Cross the River


• St. Louis: Live the Smell


• St. Louis: There's nothing here, but at least you can see it from the Arch.


• St. Louis: They Shot Part Of Escape From New York Here


• St Louis: You're soaking in it


• St. Louis: Fewer mullets than Kansas City!


• St. Louis: We have no Arch rival!


• St. Louis – Because it matters where you went to high school


• St. Louis - City with way too many churches


• St Louis - "andro" isn't just for androgeny anymore!


• St. Louis- the perfect ghettoway


• St. Louis: More here than in Rolla.


• St. Louis - Where the highway construction never ends.


• St. Louis: Ugliest women this side of West Virginia.


• St. Louis: Yeah, you could drive 3 more hours to Kansas City, or you can save a trip and kill yourself here.


• St. Louis - Flush twice, it's a long way to the Anhueser-Busch brewery.


• Eat me in Saint Louis.


• St. Louis: A drinking town with a baseball problem.


• St. Louis: The Bowling Capital of America.


• St. Louis: wearing neutral gang colors won't help you here!


• St. Louis: At least the Zoo is free.


• St. Louis: Powered by AmerenUE for more than one hu


• St. Louis: If it were any nicer you probably couldn't afford to live here.


• St. Louis – Pretending to be an East Coast city since 1850.


• Saint Louis: We were named by the French, but we learned to suck on our own.


• Saint Louis: Our cabdrivers smell better than yours.


• St. Louis - Our zoo has animals.


• St. Louis: It's Klan-tastic!


• St Louis: Sometimes we're under your plane.


• St.Louis: The only city in America that's stapled to the ground.


• "St. Louis: We've got a new slogan!"


• St. Louis - No way through, no way around.


• St Louis: Where Fred Sanford got his start.  (Birthplace of Red Foxx)


• St. Louis: Has nothing whatsoever to do with East St. Louis.


• St. Louis – The Toledo of Missouri.


• St. Louis - Devlin free since 2007


• St. Louis – Gateway to the state of Misery


• St. Louis - No highway 40 traffic jams for two years.


• St. Louis – You’ve seen us on COPS, now join the fun!


• St. Louis: the metropolitan equiviant of that little room seperating the Denny's Lobby from the Denny's Bathroom!


• St Louis- we want to be Chicago when we grow up


• St. Louis – Home of the 50–inch waistline.


• St. Louis: It could be worse. You could be in Des Moines


• St. Louis – At least we're not East St. Loius!


• St. Louis – If we had another arch, we'd have a McDonalds.


• St. Louis – The charm outweighs the crime!


• St. Louis – St. Louis: Hot, but muggy


• St. Louis, we just found Google last month!


• St. Louis: hey at least we aren't pronounced LOUIEEVILLE


• St Louis: Gateway to Pretty Much Nowhere!


• St. Louis: Safer than Detroit!


• St. Louis - We won as many games in the post season as the Cubs.


• St Louis: Living in Chicago's shadow for over 100 years.


• St. Louis: Smell the airport!


• St. Louis: Hey, at least we're upstream from Arkansas


• St. Louis: One arch away from a trademark violation.


• St. Louis! It's All Downstream From Here!

Update:  A few more funny ones:

•  St. Louis: Always a Dull Moment


•  St Louis: Home of the Whatchamacallit


•  Missouri loves company


•  St. Louis: "We had Harry Caray back when he made sense and you could still understand him!"

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Football Bowling

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High Five

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Busted

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Bad ads

Bad ad placements actually.

 

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Pencil sharpener for sickos

This is a pencil sharpener.  It's a dolls head and you stick the pencil into her eye to sharpen it. There is a little button on the back of her neck that pushes the shavings out of her mouth, very nice!

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Filling up

http://view.break.com/387011 - Watch more free videos

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Something's missing

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Computer bug

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Kitty Wallenda

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This just in.......

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Firefighters trapped atop a ridge....

Twelve firefighters are trapped atop a ridge off Santiago Canyon Road in Orange County after flames jumped the road. The blaze roared up the hillside and prompted the crew members to deploy their fire shelters. They were surrounded by burning brush, but they made it out alive. “We just remained calm, everyone did,” one firefighter said after he was checked out by paramedics. All of the firefighters were treated at the scene and did not want to go to the hospital.

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Rolling Death Machine

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13 amazing Cirque Du Soleil performances

I’ve seen a number of Cirque du Soleil shows in Las Vegas as well as in various cities when they travel. The bad news is that tickets normally run around $100 per person, and you have to buy them well in advance to get great seats. The good news is, you’ll never see anything cooler in your life, so the shows are worth every penny they charge. The even better news is that I’ve assembled 13 great acts here for you to see without having to pay to do it!

 I concur.  I’ve seen a few of them, and they are absolutewly great!
This clip is from Cirque Du Soleil’s 25th Anniversary

More Cirque Du Soleil videos

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The rest of the story....

This somewhat famous full-page photo appeared in Time Magazine (and in Life Magazine’s Retrospective of the 60’s issue).

  It was taken during the protests at the 1968 Democratic Convention held in Chicago IL.   The angry shirtless young man in the center of the picture flipping the bird to the police and press is the subject of this story.  He’s the brother-in-law of my close friend.  His name is Al.   I won’t divulge his last name because I don’t know if he’d care if anyone knew it was him.   He’d probably be fine with it, but I’m not sure, so he’s just Al. 

The story behind this photo is as follows:   Al was not into protesting and didn’t realize the convention was even being held there at that time.  He and some friends drove to Chicago from St. Louis for the sole purpose of “testing out a new cooler” they had picked up.  He saw the protestors in the street and just joined in…. not knowing what they were protesting.

I remember seeing the picture when it originally was published and didn’t know who he was at the time.  A few years ago during a discussion about Al, my friend told me that he was in the magazine.  I had remembered the picture all those years.  Al hasn’t changed much at all.  He still looks the same… his hair is a little shorter and he’s older, but you can tell it’s him.  No question about it.  I’ve met him on several ocassions.  He’s quite the character.

The picture was also in a film that was out a couple of years ago.  I can’t remember the name of the film now, but I recognized it instantly as one of the characters in the film was flipping through the magazine.

Anyway… now you know the rest of the story.

Stuff you didn't know

To “testify” was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a
statement made by swearing on their testicles.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters
“mt”.

There is a seven letter word in the English language that
contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters,
“therein” the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.

Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.

Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button.It was eliminated
when he was sewn up after surgery.

Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle.

More stuff you didn’t know.

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Have you ever seen....

I have never seen a road killed crow.

I think that is because there is always one crow on watch setting on a fence post call out as a car approaches ” CARRR_CARRR_CARR “.

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Creature from the Blue Lagoon

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Stranger at the window

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly.

The passenger screamed, "Look at he window. There's an old ghost's face there!"

The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?"

The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"

The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.

A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again. The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer says we're doing 80 now."

All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared. "There he is again," the passenger yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"

"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.

The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"

They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.

"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"

The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"

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Life is funny...

… and a little painful.

..

I don’t care for the music, but the video is good.

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Chrome

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Footstool

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Big Dog - Little Boy

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Nose to nose

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LMAO

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Deep diver?

Probably should have checked the depth first.

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Remember Baby Jessica?

Remember 20 years ago, 'Baby Jessica'? She was the little baby who was rescued after falling in a well. Huge story. She's almost 21 now and will soon be getting a million dollars from the funds set up with donations when she fell down the well. She's getting a million dollars. In a related story, earlier today, Senator John McCain threw himself down a well.

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TV reporter reports on burning house - His house

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Vista Conversion update

Just thought I’d let you know that it’s been a rough couple of days… but after several missteps I have loaded Vista on my desktop PC.  So far, so good. 

I’m in the process of moving files and folders to the new system, but everything seems to be hunky-dorey (I don’t think I’ve ever typed that phrase before in my entire life until just now).

The previous post (Internet stars) and this one were done on the new OS.   Everything seems to look OK.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Wheeeee!

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ARRRRRRR...F

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Kids - on love

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

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How to rip your own head off....

… Really…..

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STOP! You're both right

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Retirement plan?

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'Spenders

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Giving the big guy some space

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Knit knut

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Goofy, is that you?

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Computer problems

I’ve been fighting with my desktop computer for about ten days now.  After giving up trying to fix Windows XP, I’m now going to attempt to install Vista.   I tried to upgrade over XP, but apparently XP is so unstable that it won’t work, so I’m going to do a clean install.   If that doesn’t work I’ll be in the market for a new PC.   Just wanted you to know what’s going on if I miss a day or two.  

Think different

Very cool Apple commercial.

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Automatic Updates Restart Message

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Geek porn

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Bits & Pieces World Headquarters

(I do have two monitors like this.. and my phone is to the right of them and I have a stack of CD’s on the left side… and a narrow shelf above the computer.  That’s a tad eerie!   I just have a lot more crap (papers) laying around.)

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Making an island

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Blonde cooking

Dear Diary,
It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.

Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before
serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don't have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the
hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.

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Plumber plates

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Sex - Get it?

I’m betting he doesn’t.

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Pig farmer

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.  At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.

The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, and find a field in which to let the pigs mate. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m.,
loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.

While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant..... if they're in the mud, they're not."

The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again, and proceeded to try again.

This continued each morning for more than a week. One morning the farmer was so tired, he couldn't get out of bed.  He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether
the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."

"Neither," yelled his wife, "They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."

Thanks Gene