Sign of the times

LOL = Laugh Out Loud
OMG = Oh My Gog
WTF = What The F#*k

via J-Walk blog

Landmarks of New Orleans

What’s happened to them in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? 

•  The French Quarter: This historic district is full of wrought-iron balconies and ornate colonial architecture, but was also a playground for adults who could roam the streets with cocktails in tow and listen to jazz and, during Mardi Gras, grab for beads and go wild. The area escaped much of the flooding.
•  Bourbon Street: A hedonistic strip in the Quarter bursting with bars like Pat O'Brien's, Molly's on the Market, and Jean Laffite's Blacksmith Shop. The latter, a piano bar, was supposedly the in-town headquarters of pirate Jean Laffite, who owned more than 10 vessels and raided American, British and Spanish ships in the early 1800s. Located in the French Quarter, the area escaped flooding but remains closed.
•  Cafe du Monde: Established in 1862, this coffee shop on Decatur Street in the French Quarter was best known for its cafe au lait, made with hearty New Orleans-style coffee, blended with chicory, and beignets -- crispy, square doughnuts. Still standing.
•  U.S. Mint building: The building housed Confederate soldiers during the Civil War and produced money for the federal government until 1909. It later became home to jazz and Mardi Gras exhibits and the streetcar immortalized in Tennessee Williams' play "A Streetcar Named Desire." The mint is still standing. The fate of the streetcar is unknown.
•  St. Louis Cathedral: Located in Jackson Square and consecrated in 1794, it was said to be the oldest continuously active cathedral in the country. Still standing.

Find out more here.

via J-Walk Blog

The "Love Boat" heading to New Orleans?

Updated: 2:00 p.m. ET Sept. 3, 2005

Federal officials are chartering three of Carnival Cruise Lines' ships for six months, part of a plan to provide shelter for as many as 7,000 people displaced by devastating Hurricane Katrina.

The three ships — the Ecstasy, Sensation and Holiday — will be pulled from regular use starting Monday.

Ecstasy, normally ported at Galveston for four-and five-day cruises, and Sensation, normally in New Orleans for similar trips, will both be pulled Monday and are scheduled to dock and house Katrina refugees in Galveston, Texas.

Just what these people want to see… more water.

Here’s the story from MSNBC.

via J-Walk blog

Nutty Flashing Squirrel

You know you want to see the Flashing Squirrel

via The Presurfer

Not from Hurricane Katrina

Please sign in

Oh

Think this Goatse might have been Photoshopped just a bit?

Funny nonetheless. 

Daddy, watch this!

Thanks Ronie

I sold my car for gas money

Tastes like chicken - and you can buy it on eBay

 You are bidding on a deep fried jumbo shrimp that has a very unique shape that looks exactly like female genitalia. AKA Vagina.

You've seen jumbo shrimp before, and most of you have seen female genitalia before, but I know none of you have seen Female Genitalia Jumbo Shrimp before.

You will be the life of the party when you whip out your Female Genitalia Jumbo Shrimp. All of your friends will envy you. GUARANTEED*!

SNATCH THIS ONE UP! DON'T LET ANOTHER ONE SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS!!!

Current Bid is $1.00

Check it out.

via 4 all fun

What did people use before toilet paper was invented?

Answer:   You should thank your lucky stars you live in the twentieth century, bucko. Let me tell you about ... corncobs. You may not believe this, but it was once common practice in rural America to leave a corncob hanging from a string in the outhouse for purposes of personal hygiene. The string, I gather, was to permit the cob to be reused. For those who were punctilious in these matters, or else blessed with an abundance of corncobs, a box of disposable cobs might be provided instead. In coastal regions, the cob might be replaced by a mussel shell.

Read the complete answer at The Straight Dope.

via New Links

Big Easy Psychic?

This from the May 23, 2005 edition of the American Perospect:

Thinking Big About Hurricanes
It's time to get serious about saving New Orleans. –  May 23, 2005

 In the event of a slow-moving Category 4 or Category 5 hurricane (with winds up to or exceeding 155 miles per hour), it's possible that only those crow's nests would remain above the water level. Such a storm, plowing over the lake, could generate a 20-foot surge that would easily overwhelm the levees of New Orleans, which only protect against a hybrid Category 2 or Category 3 storm (with winds up to about 110 miles per hour and a storm surge up to 12 feet). Soon the geographical "bowl" of the Crescent City would fill up with the waters of the lake, leaving those unable to evacuate with little option but to cluster on rooftops -- terrain they would have to share with hungry rats, fire ants, nutria, snakes, and perhaps alligators. The water itself would become a festering stew of sewage, gasoline, refinery chemicals, and debris.

Read the complete article.

via Bifurcated Rivets

And… there is this article printed Dec 01, 2001:

KEEPING ITS HEAD ABOVE WATER – New Orleans faces doomsday scenario

 New Orleans is sinking.
And its main buffer from a hurricane, the protective Mississippi River delta, is quickly eroding away, leaving the historic city perilously close to disaster.
So vulnerable, in fact, that earlier this year the Federal Emergency Management Agency ranked the potential damage to New Orleans as among the three likeliest, most castastrophic disasters facing this country.
The other two? A massive earthquake in San Francisco, and, almost prophetically, a terrorist attack on New York City.

Read the whole article.

via growabrain

217 Best band names ever

A few selections from the list:

•  Mishap Happens
•  Elemenopee
•  The Reading Weepers
•  The Way Back Whens
•  Vowel Movement
•  Apparition H
• Jif and the Choosy Mothers
•  I Dream of Weenie
•  Airtight Grannies
•  Victorious Secret
•  Pubic Zirconia
•  Punch Us Pilot
•  The Oh God No's
•  Free The Willy
•  Endangered Feces
• Ballistic Beavers
•  Urethra Franklin
•  Shitpig Express
•  Born on the Cob
•  Loose Stoolpigeon

Here’s the complete list: 217 Best Band Names Ever.

via Bifurcated Rivets

Clever A.D.D. Marketing website

A.D.D. Marketing

via Bifurcated Rivets

A bit of Google magic

Here's a magic trick to surprise friends with; go to the flash-based fake Google homepage by Dark Arts Media. Ask someone casually to watch the Google logo. Now click anywhere on the page while pointing at the logo with the other hand, and then move two of your fingers to completely cover the the 'o's in the Google logo. When you remove the fingers, hopefully to much surprise, the letters 'o' will be missing from the logo.

Whenever you click on the page, the letters will disappear after five seconds. Clicking again will make them reappear after five seconds. A third click will change the page to an actual Google homepage.

via  The Presurfer

Transfer large files

Need to send someone a very large file?   You need  Dropload.   Dropload is a place for you to drop your files off and have them picked up by someone else at a later time. Recipients you specify are sent an email with instructions on how to download the file. Files are removed from the system after 7 days, regardless if they have been picked up or not. You can upload any type of file, mp3, movies, docs, pdfs, up to 100MB each! Recipients can be anyone with an email address.

Once you complete the free registration, you can begin uploading files. The files can be up to a whopping 100 megabytes!

Simply enter the recipient's e-mail address. They'll get an e-mail with a link for downloading the file. Since they're sent the link and not the actual file, you won't overwhelm their inbox. The files are even scanned for viruses.

Go to Dropload

via Kim Komando

Get you free credit report

As of today, September 1, 2005, everyone in the U.S. can get a free credit report from the 3 major credit reporting agencies:  Experian, TransUnion and Equifax.

I just got mine and it was fairly painless.  They ask for verifying information such as place of employment on a certain date, address on a certain date or mortgage lender and payment range.  They also try to sell you more features, Credit Score, etc., but it’s not hard-sell tactics.  You just opt out of these features.

You get a list of all your credit cards, loans, etc., including your payment history.  It’s actually pretty interesting.  I noticed some of the same accounts with different names.  But with the banks buying each other out I can’t keep up with who’s who, so I shouldn’t be surprised that the credit reporting agencies can’t either.

Get your free at AnnualCreditReport.com

THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT

The Top 20 Rejected Car Names

• 20> Acura Noyeng
• 19> Land Rover Fetch
• 18> Plymouth Rock
• 17> Mercedes Ruehl
• 16> Mercury Poisoning
• 15> Oldsmobile Xtinct
• 14> Buick Naked
• 13> Yugo Sloli
• 12> Hyundai Myundai-Tyuesdai-Wyednesdai-Thyursdai-Frydai-Syaturdai
• 11> Chrysler Onapopsiclestick
• 10> Chevy Splodesonimpact
•  9> Dodge Vindow Viper
•  8> SAAB Storrie
•  7> Jag-u-ar Pretencia
•  6> Tucker Carlson
•  5> Alpha Roflmao
•  4> Infiniti Andbeyond!
•  3> Audi Duty
•  2> Porsche PP Xtension
•  1> Ford Fuctus

via Top 5

Personal ice cream security

Due to roommates that didn't quite understand my displeasure at my consistently disappearing ice cream, I had to resort to this. Not a gag, it is actually is designed with the intention to work. Though I suppose that since the container it is "locking" is made of waxed cardboard (which can be deformed a bit) it won't keep out a serious professional penetration attempt.

I found that it sends a warning message, sort of like one of those little LED's you put in a car to give the appearance of having an alarm.

-- Morgan Davis

Ben and Jerry's Pint Lock
$5
Available from
Ben & Jerry's

 

 

Why doesn't Halmark make cards like these?

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How ! upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was! I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------! ---------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky &West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////! /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.

 

Thanks Paul

Kids will be kids

Trampoline accident perhaps?

What's wrong with this picture?

Free to good home

via Daily HaHa

Priceless

via Funny Shit

A billion here - a billion there - pretty soon ywe're talking real money

The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion," casually, think about whether or not you want the politician spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases.

a. A billion seconds ago it was 1973.

b. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

c. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

d. A billion days ago no-one walked on two feet on earth.

e. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government spends it.

Thanks Paul

Katrina picture galleries

Here is a large collection of pictures form hurricane Katrina’s aftermath.   Some incredible pictures there.  Here are a few from the collection.

Very descriptive interseaction

 
Welcome to the city of New Orleans

 
Makeshift shoes                                                       Dry Bourbon – so far

Fido still needs to be walked…. or swam.

Christ statue at St. louis Cathedral in New Orleans.  Massive oak trees fell all around but didn’t touch the statue.

Just the necessities from Walmart

Thanks Paul

Top 10 windiest cities

•  1.Blue Hill, MA
• 2.Dodge City, KS
• 3.Amarillo, TX
• 4.Rochester, MN
• 5.Casper, WY [and]
• 6.Cheyenne, WY [tie]
• 7.Great Falls, MT
• 8.Goodland, KS
• 9.Boston, MA
• 10.Lubbock, TX

 Notice Chicago is not on this list?

     Actually, none of the cities on this list have anywhere near 1 million people, and with the exception of perhaps Boston, do not have many tall buildings.  Whereas New York City, Chicago, and even Indianapolis, have a concentrated downtown with many tall buildings.  Thus, the more populated cities, or larger cities, have a greater number of taller buildings which hinders the wind from gaining speed.

 Thus, Chicago which is known as "the windy city", has a claim to fame which is almost paradoxical.  That is, being a city usually means lots of buildings, and that slows the wind down.   However, Chicago is likely one of the top ten windiest cities with more than 1 millions people. 

     So, when someone throws out the fact that Chicago is not one of the windiest cities, you can debate with them if Blue Hill, MA is really a "city".  See how fun science can be in social situations?  You'll make all sorts of new friends, just none from Blue Hill, Mass. 

From Weather Savy via Information Junk

Does hurricane Katrina looks like a 6 week fetus?

Here’s the link to this story.  Be sure to read the comments.  They’re hillarious.  Some people just have way too much time.

From Eve’s Apple via Linkfilter 

The scene of the crime

Man forced to have sex with 3 women at gunpoint

From the Mercury newspaper in  Pietermaritzburg, South Africa

 August 25, 2005     By Alex Eliseev    Johannesburg:

The hunt is on for three women who ambushed a 30-year-old man and forced him to have sex with them at gunpoint.
According to police spokeswoman Paula Nothnagel, a case of indecent assault had been opened and identity kits would be released soon. The man cannot be named because of the nature of the offence.
Nothnagel said that on Saturday night the man was walking through Roodepoort when the women pulled up next to him in their maroon BMW.
They asked him for directions to the Savoy Hotel and he got into the car to show them the way.
At the hotel the women persuaded him to join them for a drink, before asking him for directions to yet another hotel.
While on the road to the Station Hotel the women suddenly changed direction and drove to a dark and empty field near the Durban Deep mine.
"One woman produced a firearm and held the man at gunpoint," Nothnagel said.
"The women got undressed and all three took turns to have intercourse with him."
The man was then ordered back into the car and dropped off along Main Reef Road.
Nothnagel said the man then went home before opening a case at the local police station. The West Rand Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Unit is investigating. They suspect the women were all aged between 20 and 30.

Read the story.

via Blogywood

Interesting take on looting in New Orleans

 If you're white you find something, if you're black you're looting.  Hmmmm….

via Blogywood

Cool pin clock

 You Can Hear a Pin Clock
PIN CLOCK

The first of its kind, the pill-shaped precision engineered pin clock uses 3,000 pins to display the hours and minutes of the day. Inspired by the popular Pin Art toy that uses moving pins to form the impression of one’s hand, this creation makes watching the clock a mesmerizing experience. The minutes click ahead with a sound that evokes the classic flip of the numbers at airports or train stations, combining aural ambience with visual style. Imported.
$70.00   Get one at uncommon goods.

via Look at this

A visit to the Bates Motel

Do you dare visit?

via New Links

Dig a deep hole in your back yard - where will you end up?

If I go out into my backyard and dig a verrrry deep hole… all the way through the earth, where would I end up?  I’d end up off the west coast of Australia.   Where would you end up?  Dig a hole.

via New Links

Obscenities uttered by Jesus

"Dad damn you."

"Holy Mom, mother of me."

"Dad."

"Myself almighty."

"Good me."

"Me, Mom, and Mom's husband ..."

"Me."

From McSweeney’s via growabrain

Neo Orleans to replace New Orleans

An idea from dorking out:

 First I'd like to say that the events surrounding the hurricane this week were(are) very tragic we don't intend this to make light of the humanitarian situation at all. There is no nice way to say it, but New Orleans is, quite literally, up shit creek without a paddle. Getting straight to the point: They should bail on New Orleans, and build Neo Orleans as a floating megacity on Lake Pontchartrain....

Read the whole story.

via J-Walk blog

My piggy bank after gassing up my car today

Thanks Gary J

R.I.P. Piere

womens growth chart

Top 20 stupid deaths of the year

Here are just a few:

•  19. Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day but, crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party, her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.
•  14. Megan Fri, 44 years old, was killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town simulation. Seeing the troopers all walking slow down the street, Megan jumped out in front of them and yelled, "Boo!" The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting their target. "She just looked like a very real looking target," one of the troopers stated in his report.
•   10. Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long. Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.
•  8. Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his "two timing wife" by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kilograms of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was witnessed by several persons, some up to 14 kilometers away. No trace  of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55 meter deep crater and 500 meters of missing road.
•  5. Jay Newton was killed after a co-worker at Sea World in Florida dropped a 20 ton killer whale on him. The whale had been hoisted out of his tank by a Master Tonne Crane, when the victim swam underneath to inspect the harness. His colleague, Brian Hartley, released the whale, crushing the victim instantly (and emptying a quarter of the water from the pool).

Here is the whole list.

via 4 all fun

Cool illusions

Squares A and B are the exact same shade of gray.  Don’t believe me?  Click here and find out for yourself (it’s illusion #1).  There are two other neat illusions here also.

via Linky & Dinky

Want a piece of history?

You can buy Michael Jackson’s famous white glove.   Asking price $388,000.00 

Click here to see.

via Look at this

Katrina's aftermath

 
Looters stealing whatever they can get for a grocery in New Orleans where floodwaters continue to rise.

Read an up-to-the-minute blog on Katrina’s aftermath as reported by New Orleans TV station WWL’s Tom Planchet.

via J-Walk blog

Here’s another blog about Katrina from the truth laid bear

via The Presurfer

And another photo blog here.  Pretty incredible pictures.

via Blogywood

Children's play slide

"Hey mom, watch me slide out the elephants ass"

40 things every drunk should do before he dies

From Modern Drunkard:

 1.) Open and close a bar.
 2.) Go on a bender.
 3.) Drink a fifth of hard liquor, by yourself, in one day.
 4.) Dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd.
 5.) Spend a night in the drunk tank.
 6.) Get drunk on the grave of your hero.
 7.) Buy a crowded bar a round.
 8.) Embark on an impromptu road trip.
 9.) Get 86’d from a bar.
 10.) Extravagantly overtip a bartender.
 11.) Walk up to an attractive stranger way out of your league and buy him or her a drink.
 12.) Conspire an afterhours at your favorite bar.
 13.) Make your best friend a perfect martini.
 14.) Buy, build or steal a home bar.
 15.) Get carried home by your drinking buddies.
 16.) Get drunk with your father.
 17.) Fight a good fight.
 18.) Visit the source of your favorite beer, wine or liquor.
 19.) Drunkenly watch the sun come up with your best boozing buddies and a bottle.
 20.) Sit in on an A.A. meeting.
 21.) Hit a dozen bars in one night.
 22.) Try at least one hundred different drinks.
 23.) Get loaded in the land of your forefathers.
 24.) Juice on the job.
 25.) Split a magnum of expensive champagne with your true love.
 26.) Give a hobo twenty bucks.
 27.) Get loaded and tell your boss exactly how you feel.
 28.) Send a friend a bottle of good liquor.
 29.) Eat a pickled egg from the big jar.
 30.) Go on a fishing trip with your pals.
 31.) Eat the worm.
 32.) Learn at least one traditional drinking song.
 33.) Steal some booze.
 34.) Spend half a paycheck on a single bottle of liquor.
 35.) Start your long-awaited and very personal autobiography: Me and the Booze: A Love Story.
 36.) Try absinthe.
 37.) Watch the movie Barfly with five of your closest friends.
 38.) Work at least a week as a bartender.
 39.) Make your own beer, wine or moonshine.
 40.) Go to your place of worship loaded.

For details on each item click here.

Note: I’m ashamed to say I’ve only done one-fourth of them.  Some drunk I am.

via Coolio’s

It's a boy!

via All for fun

Aquarium toilet

 Aquariass - Aquarium toilet

Add a little life to your bathroom with this live aquarium. The fully functioning tank fits American Standard bowls. Custom bowl installation is available.

3/8" acrylic tank
1.6 gpf. (federal standard)
22" x 14" x 9" deep

 email us for ordering information

8 weeks for shipping
Fish and aquarium components sold separately.

via Look at this

Why is "colonel" pronounced "kernel"?

 Mainly to continue the tradition of making English as incomprehensible as possible, thereby keeping the spelling bee industry in business. (Believe me, there's millions in it.) Colonel comes from Old Italian colonello, commander of a column of troops, which in turn derives from colonna, column. It wasn't always spelled the Italian way, though. Four hundred years ago English followed the Spanish practice and spelled the word "coronel," sensibly pronounced the way it looked. Eventually this was corrupted to ker-nel, still not bad considering we're talking about the British, who pronounce "Featheringstonehaugh" "Fanshaw."

But it couldn't last. Some nameless busybody decided coronel ought to be spelled "colonel" to better reflect its Italian origin, doubtless out of the same misplaced love of precision that gave us 16-1/2 feet to the rod and 27 and 11/32 grains to the dram. It's just the Anglo-Saxon way, I guess. How these people conquered an empire I'll never know.

From The Straight Dope via Look at this

Sniper Detection System

 Not to be flip, but pretty soon NATO is going to be walking into battle zones in AT-ATs. This sniper detection system is just incredible. It’s an array of microphones aimed in different directions that can pick up and triangulate the location of sniper fire even in noisy locations. They’re currently testing them on Hummers in Iraq and a processing unit estimates the direction, elevation, and distance of a sniper after the first shot fired.

Read article about it on Gizmag.

via Gizmodo

Lovemaking tips for seniors

1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don't even think about trying it twice

 

Thanks Opie

They're not what they appear to be

 
Click on one to find out.

via eBaum’s World