Saturday, January 20, 2007
A unique cow
Ole is a farmer in Minnesota.
He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be 'North Dakota' for you non-Scandahoovians out there).
He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.
Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls...the cow farts.
Ole is very surprised.
He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again.
He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.
Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's
current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home.
When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens."
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.
Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?"
Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.
Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?"
Sven says, "My wife is from Nordakota."
Screwed
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40's or early 50's.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $10,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out twenty $500 bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $10,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs.
After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "Birmingham." "Really" she said. "I have family in Birmingham."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $30,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
Pun Intended
1. Two antennas met on a roof fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
7. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t - I’ve cut off your arms!”
13. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …(Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)… . A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Pun Intended
1. Two antennas met on a roof fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
7. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t - I’ve cut off your arms!”
13. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …(Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)… . A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
13 fun buzzwords of 2006
Ever done any blamestorming? How about prairie-dogging? Do you work with any BMWs? Or has your career been plutoed?
Those four buzzwords are among the 13 Most Fun Buzzwords of 2006.
"Not all buzzwords make you cringe. Some are delightfully colorful, funny and sum up life in today's workplace," says John Walston, author of The Buzzword Dictionary and creator of BuzzWhack.com. "And given the way the world's been going lately, we definitely need something to laugh about."
Here's the complete list:
1. blamestorming: A group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves.
2. Death by Tweakage: When a product or project fails due to unnecessary tinkering or too many last-minute revisions.
3. BMW’s: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners.
4. clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock - instead of doing their jobs
5. plutoed: To be dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.
6. prairie dogging: Occurs when workers simultaneously pop their heads up out of their cubicles to see what's going on.
7. carbon-based error: Error caused by a human, not a computer (which would be a silicon-based error).
8. menoporsche: Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.
9. adminisphere: The upper levels of management where big, impractical, and counterproductive decisions are made.
10. deja poo: The feeling that you've stepped in this bull before.
11. bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the boss even though most have no idea what he/she just said.
12. ringtone rage: The violent response by cube mates after hearing your annoying cell phone ringtone for the 15th time.
13. muffin top: The unsightly roll of flesh that spills over the waist of a pair of too-tight pants
Thanks Paul E
How It's Made videos
Cool stuff here.
How It's Made - Hot Dogs and Lunch Meat
How It's Made - Matrouska Dolls
How It's Made - Trumpets
How It's Made - Toilets
How It's Made - Books
How It's Made - TV Set
How It's Made - Gold
How It's Made - Harmonicas
How It's Made - Choir Bells
How It's Made - Light Bulbs
How It's Made - Umbrellas
Friday, January 19, 2007
The mechanic
A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler..."
Flying moose?
Fairbanks Alaska: They were laying new power cables which were strung on the ground for miles. The moose are rutting right now and very agitated. He was thrashing around and got his antlers stuck in the cables. When the men (miles away) began pulling the lines up with their big equipment, the moose went up with them. They noticed excess tension in the lines and went searching for the problem. He was still alive when they lowered him to the ground. He was a huge 60 inch bull and slightly peeved! Unfortunately it had to be killed. This happened in October of 2004. Snopes story here
A similar story with photos of a deer atop a utility pole is here.
20 reasons why Fishing is better than S E X
#20 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.
#19 - A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.
#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.
#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.
#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you Fished with long ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.
#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for Fishing harassment
#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week - Is Fishing all You ever think about!"
Little Davie
Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Davie asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
Pilot blows deer to safety
NORMAN, OK -- The pilot of an Oklahoma City TV news helicopter used the wind from the aircraft's rotor to push a stranded deer to safety after it lost its footing on a frozen lake and could not get up.
A small crowd had gathered to watch the deer struggling, its hooves repeatedly slipping, near the shore of Lake Thunderbird, near Norman, Oklahoma around 4 p.m. Wednesday.
With the helicopter's camera rolling, KWTV pilot Mason Dunn used the wind from the rotor to push the deer, initially sending it into a break in the ice where the animal managed to hold onto the ice with its front legs.
Dunn then lowered the helicopter and the wind sent the deer sliding on its belly across the ice until it reached shore and scampered into a nearby wooded area.
A trip to Texas
Prior to her trip to Texas , Buffy (a New Yorker), confided to her co-workers she
Had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State;
1. She wanted to taste some real Texas Bar-B-Que.
2. She wanted to take in a bona fide rodeo. And..
3. She wanted to have sex with a real cowboy.
Upon her return, the girls were curious as to how she fared.
"Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite , it's ooooh so good. The taste is unbelievable! "And I went to a real rodeo.Talk about athletes...those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop,then jump off the horses and grab the bull by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!"
They then asked, "Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?"
"Are you kidding? When I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!"
Thanks Joe P
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The gorilla
A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he
grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and he gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. "Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell him you have a headache."
Human slingshot
Tiddy Bear
Stop that shoulder belt from cutting into your shoulder with the Tiddy Bear.
View the funny video commercial.
Note: This is a real product.
When Hell freezes over
Here are just a few pictures from Worth 1000’s Photoshop contest of unlikely things.
Donald Trump ditches the wig
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Anti Monkey Butt Powder
While in Florida, we ran across this unusual sign. I had no idea what it was. So I Googled it and found out that it’s a powder for “absorbing excess sweat and reducing frictional skin irritation”.
Ideal for butt busting activities such as truck driving, motorcycling, bicycling, horse back riding, and extreme sports. May also be applied inside footwear, under sports pads, and other areas prone to chafing. Indoors or outdoors, work or play, or on occasions when you sit on your butt all day, don’t let your buns get red, use Anti Monkey Butt Powder instead!
I’ll have to get some for my long motorcycle rides.
Back to reality
This is at St. Pete Beach in Florida yesterday. Temp was 83 degrees F. We flew back in to St. Louis last night into snow and 20 degrees F.
The plane ride
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Fred replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
The stranded engineer
A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life.
Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer,desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same palm tree.
One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared. "I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?"
"Yes, I was, " he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?"
"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunwhale from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter."
"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly.
She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
"It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!"
"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas."
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?"
"No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island."
"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.
"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable." As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time,the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely...is there anything that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now!"
"Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just...well, it was impossible."
"Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said.
The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean........??!
"Yes you can.." She breathed..
"Wow! You actually figured out some way we can check our e-mail here?!!"
Dog shock collar experiment
Dog shock collar experimentDon’t try this at home, unless you’re an idiot.
Why is watching someone in pain so funny?
The guy laughing in the background is very contagious.
Minnesota ghost story
This is too good not to read, especially if you thought ghosts didn't exist! This happened about a month ago just outside of Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.
This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride real bad, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine could be heard over the rain. Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still to scared to jump out, he started to pray and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would surely drown.
But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again.
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally, the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and he jumped out of the car and ran and ran into town, into Willmar.
Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and with his voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey. He then told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped the barroom and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not just some drunk).
About a half hour later, two guys walked into the bar and one says nto the other, "Look, Bob, there’s that idiot that rode in our car when we was pushin' it in the rain."
The answer is blowing in the wind...
And as Richard Dawson used to say on ‘Family Feud’ … “Good answer”.
You know you're from Missouri when....
I’m sure a lot these are true about a lot of states, but being from Missouri, I understand most of these. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Missouri. If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you might live in Missouri. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Missouri. If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Missouri. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Missouri. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Missouri. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN: 1. Vacation means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend but you never leave the state. 2. You measure distance in minutes it takes you to get there. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again. 5. You drive 65 mph through a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them. 9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, & It's Hot. 12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to a blue spruce. 13. "Down south" means the boot heel of Missouri. 14. A brat is something you eat. 15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed. 16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday. 17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly." 19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance. 20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is because you know that East St. Louis is not in Missouri. 21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet above sea level. 22. You never drive anywhere within 20 miles of home without there being road construction. 23. You don't believe it until you see it. 24. You know what a pork steak is. Thanks Coop |
How a CD is made
How a CD is made Interesting.
Be sure to check out the related videos… like how jeans, bathtubs, cheese, helicopters, etc are made.
Snow plowing
Leroy and his wife Carol live up north. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Carol goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Carol goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says" We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park...
Then the electric power goes out. Carol is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With love & understanding in his voice, like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Leroy says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.?"
Thanks Phyllis
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Never question a drunk
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, you must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly.
Thanks Joe P
Monday, January 15, 2007
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Twins
Here is a shot of me and my identical twin brother taken today (Sunday) at Universal Studios in Orlando.
My granddaughter has decided that her favorite ride is the escalator.
Tomorrow it’s off to Port Charlotte to visit my aunt.
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