Saturday, July 14, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Off on a weekend bike trip
We’re off to the Land Between the Lakes… the lakes being Kentucky Lake and Lake Barkley. The Kentucky Tennessee border runs through the Land Between the Lakes area. This should be a 600 mile trip or thereabouts from St. Louis (roundtrip) including some waypoints.
Heading out early Saturday and should return Sunday evening.
Then I’m off to Florida on Monday for a short visit with my aunt. I should return Wednesday evening.
Y’all be careful out there!
Flies need to eat too
As an example of advertisement gone wrong, the largest supermarket chain in Australia allowed this to be advertised in their instore bakery. If you look close enough, you will be able to spot the fly in the middle of the white ‘iced donut’ which went pass through the proof reader. No wonder it’s on special price!
Shuttle's Name Misspelled On NASA Launch Pad Sign
The first NASA sign at launch pad 39A encouraging the next launch of space shuttle Endeavour at Kennedy Space Center was misspelled and noticed by someone looking at the craft.
When the shuttle rolled out from the Vehicle Assembly Building Wednesday, a giant "Go Endeavour" sign was put on a fence in front of the craft.
However, one item was missing from the sign: the "u" in Endeavour.
What the hell is going on here?
A white guy is stealing chicken from some black guys?
He was taunting them with a bucket of chicken?
He got the last bucket at KFC?
Is it the Colonel reclaiming his ‘original recipe’?
Whatever it is, it it sure looks like an angry crowd around him.
Smart man
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money.
By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt.
The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.
The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention...."
Blank Paper Utility v.0.9
Extend the life of your print cartridge -- print blank sheets!
BlankSheetofPaper.com is a free online utility to allow you to print a blank sheet of paper from your printer in case you need a clean white, blank sheet of paper to write on. No download required.
BlankSheetofPaper.com Does not require a download of any kind.
I tried it and it didn’t print a blank sheet from my printer. I guess I’ll have to wait for version 1.0… when they get all the bugs out.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Boeing unveils new 787 Dreamliner
This weekend, Boeing unveiled its latest airplane, the 787 Dreamliner.
Boeing says the Dreamliner is a lighter more durable airplane that will allow passengers to sit comfortably on the runway for hours and hours.
Discouraged?
As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home.
As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was. "We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.
"Really?" I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."
"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Why should we be discouraged ? We haven't been up to bat yet."
10 most unfortunately named people
From the 10 most unfortunately named people on the internets…
Here’s just one:
Ben Dova (not to be confused with the similarly named adult film star) is the stage name of Joseph Spah, a successful Vaudeville comedian. Check out Ben in action atop an NYC skyscraper in 1933 — no wires, nets or camera tricks. That’s entertainment!
Bargain
Wouldn’t that tag itch? Or, do you think she was planning on taking it back after the big night out?
1907 - One hundred years ago
The year is 1907. One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1907 :
- The average life expectancy was 47 years.
- Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
- Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
- There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
- The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
- The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
- The average wage in 1907 was 22 cents per hour.
- The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .
- A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
- More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
- Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.'
- Sugar cost four cents a pound.
- Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
- Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
- Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
- Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
- Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke - The American flag had 45 stars.
- The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!
- Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.
- There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
- Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
- Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
- Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.' ( Shocking? DUH! )
- Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.
- There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !
- Now I present this list to you (received from someone else) without typing it myself, and give it to you and others all over the United States, Canada and the world in a matter of seconds!
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
IT STAGGERS THE MIND, EH ?
Thanks Joe P
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Well.....
As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.
The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband.
The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband.
When the graveside service had no more than terminated, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by
a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.
a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
(Note: Just for clarity, this joke has nothing to do with the funeral for my aunt last weekend.)
I don't want to be a honey bee
The honey bee has exploding testicles.
The reproductive cycle of bees is fascinating - and complex. But here’s the short story: a queen is selectively bred in a special "queen cell" in the hive and fed royal jelly by worker bees to induce her to become sexually mature.
A virgin queen that survives to adulthood without being killed by her rivals will take a mating flight with a dozen or so male drones (out of tens of thousands eligible bachelors in the colony). But don’t call these drones lucky because during mating, their genitals explode and snap off inside the queen!
Strange as it is, this actually makes evolutionary sense: the snapped-off penis acts as a genital plug to prevent other drones from fertilizing the queen. But tell that to the dead drone whose penis just exploded.
Other strange animal mating habits
Oregon man takes lawn chair up to 13000 feet, travels 193 miles
Gas station owner Kent Couch settled down in his lawn chair this weekend with some drinks and snacks - and a parachute.
Attached to the lawn chair were 105 balloons of various colors, each 4 feet around. Bundled together, the balloons reached three stories high.
Destination: Idaho.
Couch carried a Global Positioning System device, a two-way radio, a digital camcorder and a cell phone. He also had instruments to measure his altitude and speed, and about four plastic bags holding five gallons of water each to act as a ballast - he could turn a spigot, release water and rise.
Nearly nine hours later, Couch was short of Idaho. But he was 193 miles from home, in a farmer's field near Union, having crossed much of Oregon at 11,000 feet.
Couch, 47, is the latest American to emulate Larry Walters, who in 1982 rose three miles above Los Angeles in a lawn chair lifted by balloons. 
"When you're a little kid and you're holding a helium balloon, it has to cross your mind," he said. "When you're laying in the grass on a summer day, and you see the clouds, you wish you could jump on them. This is as close as you can come to jumping on them. It's just like that."
The cheapest days to buy certain items
Thanks to online coupons, price-comparison search engines and reward memberships, savvy shoppers can pay less than full price on any day that ends in "y." But depending on what you're planning to buy, some days of the week may yield better bargains than others.
Here are a couple of examples:
Airplane Tickets
When to Buy: Wednesday morning.
Why: "Most airfare sales are thrown out there on the weekend," says travel expert Peter Greenberg, a.k.a. The Travel Detective. Other airlines then jump into the game, discounting their own fares and prompting further changes by the first airline. The fares reach their lowest prices late Tuesday or early Wednesday.Gas
When to Buy: Thursday, before 10 a.m.
Why: The price of oil isn't the only factor influencing costs at your local pump. Consumer usage plays a role, too — and weekend demand is high, says Jason Toews, co-founder of GasBuddy.com, a price-monitoring site. Prices usually swing upward on Thursdays as travelers fuel up to head out the following day. By hitting the pump before 10 a.m. (when many station owners change their prices), you'll beat the rush and the price jump.
Men and women are not always speaking the same language....
1. THINGY (thing-ee)
...For the Female: Any part under a car hood.
...For the Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-NE-Ra-bel)
...For the Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
...For the Male: Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-in-Kay-shon)
...For the Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
...For the Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
...For the Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
...For the Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment)
...For the Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
...For the Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens)
...For the Female: An Embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
...For the Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv)
...For the Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
...For the Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (RI-moht kon-trohl)
...For the Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
...For the Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Thanks Joe P
Computer stress relief
When you are stiff and sore from sitting at your computer for long periods, it's best if you vary your position and posture periodically. We know we shouldn't sit for too long without taking a break to stretch and move around, but we forget, and then pay for it at the end of the day. In order to prevent chronic back & neck pain, here is an excellent stretch that is suggested to relieve the stress.
Thanks Joe P
Celebrity phone pranks
Using recorded voices of famous people to carry on phone conversations. Funny stuff. Some might not be safe for work.
Richard Simmons calls a redneck
Mr. T calls a tow truck company
Arnold Schwarzenegger calls a drunk NSFW
Joe Pesci calls a black guy Definitely NSFW – Very, very bad language
More at Celebrity Pranks and Soundboard
Monday, July 09, 2007
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