Where to Live After Retirement

  You  can live in Phoenix,  Arizona  where .....
> 1.  You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found  shade. 
> 2.  You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet  bowl. 
> 3.  You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave  town.  
> 4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 
> 5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
> 6.  The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING  ME??!!  
 
You  can Live in California  where... 
> 1.  You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a   house. 
> 2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 
> 3.  You know how to eat an artichoke. 
> 4  You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block  party.  
> 5.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how   long  it will take to get there rather  than how many miles away it is.  
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and  Drought .  

You  can Live in New York  City where ... 
> 1.  You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 
> 2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to  Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 3.  You  think Central Park is  "nature," 
> 4.  You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you  multi-lingual. 
> 5.  You've worn out a car horn. 
> 6.  You think eye contact is an act of aggression.  
 
You  can Live in Maine  where ... 
> 1.  You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. 
> 2.  Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 
> 3.  You have more than one recipe for moose. 
> 4.  Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight  buttons.  
> 5.  The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and   construction.  

You  can Live in the Deep South  where .. 
> 1.  You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 
> 2.  "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 
> 3  "He needed killin'" is a valid defense. 
> 4.  Everyone  has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH,  etc.  
 
You  can live in Colorado  where ... 
> 1.  You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 
> 2.  You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day  care center. 
> 3.  A pass does not involve a football or dating. 
> 4.  The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony  tail.  

 You  can live in the Midwest  where ... 
> 1.  You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your  name.  
> 2.  Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor or an Amish  buggy. 
> 3.  You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same  day. 
> 4.  You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat  at?" 
> 5.  When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was  different!"  

AND  You can live in Florida where.. 
> 1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 
> 2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and   cars. 
> 3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 
> 4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 
> 5.  Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people. 

Thanks Donnie Mac