These are from a newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack
Handey."
"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come
on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?" --Age 15"It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends." -Age 8
"I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween." -Age 13
"For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out." -Age 6
"When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell."
-Age 5"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started." -Age 15
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