Childhood lessons

The best place to be when you're sad is with your dog.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Reading what people write on desks can get you through the test.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide broccoli in a glass of milk.
School lunches stick to the wall.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.
Never say "Last one is a rotten egg" unless you're absolutely sure someone is slower than you.
It's impossible to unlearn a bad word.
If you want a kitten or puppy, start out by asking for a horse.
Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.
You can't start over just because you're losing the game.
A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.
If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.
All libraries smell the same.
Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.
Don't nod on the phone.
It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.

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