Sunday, September 18, 2005

The kiss

Dog kiss

This photograph shows a red Doberman licking an exhausted fireman.

He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front? yard, while he continued to fight the fire.

She is pregnant.

The firefighter was afraid of her at first, because he had never been around a Doberman before.

When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer,"

noticed this red Doberman in the distance looking at the fireman.

He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies, and kissed him, just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

And people say animals are dumb - yeah right.

Thanks Mickie

Desperate times in Louisiana

Desparate time in LA

Thanks Ronnie

Rate my finger

Finger
There are sites where you can rate boobs, butt’s babes, guys …and now fingers.

Rate My Finger

via Linky & Dinky

Buy your guy a skort

SkortSpice up your dreams in a SkortManSleepSkirt. SkortManSleepSkirt is made from fine light weight cotton or other fine fabrics. Choice of colors, hem lengths.  The roomy panty is sewn into the garment.

Pleated long sleeves on the matching shirt.

Skort only $45

Shirt Only $60

BlkSlpSktFrontPose1

Get yours here you sissy boy.

via Linky & Dinky

Saturday, September 17, 2005

I'm guessing this is art. What's your guess?

Tree people

via Fresh Pictures

And you thought you had a shitty job....

Shitty job

via Fresh Pictures

Are you gay?

Gay fingers

via Fresh Pictures

Nothing but the best for our soldiers

Army mule

via Fresh Pictures

One short of a six-pack

5 mice

via Fresh Pictures

Tremors may mean 'Big One' on its way

Earthquake Vancouver — A silent tectonic event, so powerful it has shifted southern Vancouver Island out to sea, but so subtle nobody has felt a thing, is slowly unfolding on the West Coast.

Scientists who are tracking the event with sensitive seismographs and earth orbiting satellites warn it could be a trigger for a massive earthquake -- some time, maybe soon.

Read the story.

From Globe and Mail via Land-o-links

Send those mass mailers your trash

Tire_in_box_v1Tired of receiving mounds of unsolicited letters and offers in the mail? Want to fight back? Want to get rid of that old tire in your garage that the garbage man won't take? 

Here’s a guy who decided to take matters into his own hands.

 If they send you a “Business Reply Mail” envelope with postage paid then you can send them your trash. 

 I’ve actually done this with stuffing envelopes a couple of times, but haven’t tried a box of junk.

Final_package_v1

Final_package_v2

Complete instructions.

via Linky & Dinky

Friday, September 16, 2005

Will the real penny please stand up

You’ve seen them a million times.    But do you really know what a penny looks like?

PenniesOnly one of these images of a penny is correct. Which one is it?

No cheating now!  Some are obviously wrong… that’s clear, but which is correct?  Click the link below and select the right penny.

 Click here to see if you can tell which one is correct.

via Linky & Dinky

Look up in the sky...

It’s a bird….

It’s a plane

Bird plane

It’s a shitload of birds and a plane.

via Fresh Pictures

You can't get much lazier than this

Laziness

via Fresh Pictures

A 3 car 2 car garage

3 car garage

via Fresh Pictures

Sniffing the Queen

Sniffing the queen
He’s probably the only one who could get away with that.  He’s probably the only one that would want to anyway.

via Fresh Pictures

Actual newspaper headlines

  •  Grandmother of eight makes hole in one (Which one?)
  •  William Kelly was fed secretary (Hope he was hungry)
  •  Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted  (I’d like to slug a few kids)
  •  Farmer bill dies in house (Better than out in the field)
  •  Iraqi head seeks arms  (Helps make a body whole)
  •  Queen Mary having bottom scraped  (I’m not gonna touch that one)
  •  Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
  •  Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over   (He’s a pervert)
  •  Child's stool great for use in garden
  •  Miners refuse to work after death  (Lazy bums)
  •  Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984  (I believe I’ll have another beer)
  •  If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while  (DUH!)
  •  Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years  (Really?)
  •  Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say  (well, they’re the experts, they oughta know)
  •  Man is fatally slain   (Is there another way to be slain?)
  •  Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation  (When you stop talking to people, they stop talking to you)

More Actual Newspaper Headlines

via New Links

Take a stroll over the Grand Canyon

 SkywalkImagine walking out over the Grand Canyon and staring 4,000 feet down into the Colorado River -- while standing on four inches of glass.

Back in 1996, local businessman David Jin dreamed up the idea for a glass walkway while on a tour of the canyon with his family.

Scheduled to open Jan. 1, the U-shaped structure, called The Skywalk at Grand Canyon West, juts about 70 feet into the canyon.

The walkway will be part of a tourist destination on the Hualapai Indian Reservation that includes Western- and Indian-themed villages and helicopter, pontoon and horseback rides.

  

 Click images to see larger version

Skywalkaerial (Small)

via Bifurcated Rivets

 

Clic the images to see a larger version.

How to burn your own CD's

Burncd2

More ways to burn your CD’s.

via The Presurfer

Extreme shaving

Shaving
More Extreme shaving

via J-Walk blog

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Pizza fork and cutter

Pizza fork
Get yours today at Miles Kimball.  Only $5.99

via J-Walk blog

The world according to student bloopers

This has been around for quite a while.  but it’s still hysterically funny.

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

For instance:

  •  The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cul- tivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
  •  In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.
  •  One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their pacels through the post with- out stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
  •  Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
  •  Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy". Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are flaling off the trees.
  •  The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

Read it all. 

via Look at this

Instant enema?

GYMNAST

via Look at this

Ooops

Dog in car

Location, location, location

Bus poster

Black Gold vs. Black Angus

Gas Prices (Small)  With the price of gas through the roof, we thought we’d take a look at what a few other liquids cost by the gallon.

With gasoline seemingly turned from commodity to luxury, it comes as no surprise that American wallets are feeling somewhat pinched. Getting to and from work costs more than ever before. Ditto sitting in the drive-thru. Filling up a Hummer a few times costs as much as the penis extension Hummer drivers desperately need. Indeed, motorists from coast to coast can be found pumpside, scratching their heads and asking, “Don’t we own Iraq?” and “Can’t we drill where them Eskimos is?” The answers, of course, are soon and soon, respectively. Until that time comes, we can all seek solace in the fact that although the price of a gallon of gas has risen to staggering new heights, it’s really nothing compared to a gallon of Jennifer Lopez’s Glow. Or bull spooge. For the savvy shopper, here’s a list of other daily essentials priced at the gallon.

  •  Hot Hooters Booby Oil     331.52
    Adam & Eve
  •  Ortho fire ant killer       111.04
    Home Depot
  •  Starbucks latte             29.20
    Starbucks
  •  Similac baby formula       23.96
    CVS
  •  NyQuil                      89.47
    Duane Reade
  •  Glow by J. Lo           1,995.29    
    Macy’s
  •  Bull semen           $189,270.70
    Bovine Elite, Texas

From Radar Online via Bifurcated Rivets

Pole Dancing for Real Women DVD

Dvd_beginner Pole Dancing for Real Women is the first of its kind in the world! This is the video for ALL women, regardless of physical fitness, weight or stature. Have FUN, learn the basic moves in an easy-to-follow format!

Featuring:
Fawnia Mondey, Professional Dancer for over ten years, North America Exotic Dance Champion, Fawnia holds several titles for her professional dancing. She is one of the world's first exotic dance instructors.

They’ll even see you the pole Pole here.

They’ll even rent you their pole.  You can buy your very own pole there too.

via Bifurcated Rivers

 

Bad taTTOOS

Bad tattoo5  Bad tattoo4

Bad tatoo1     Bad tattoo3     Bad tattoo2  More bad tattoos.

via Bifurcate Rivets

   

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

This little piggy went to town

Piggy 3some

Yikes!

Stache

Sex in Progress light

Sexinprogressopt  The lamp that needs no explanation, but we'll give one anyway. 

The Sex in Progress Light is an ingenious way to share your prowess to the public.  Put it on your nightstand, outside your bedroom, or if you're cocky enough, outside your house. Never accidentally be walked in by your roommate again.

Get one for your friend Don Juan, or as a gag gift for the prude nerd down the street too.

Specs:
7 inches by 3 inches in size.
4 AA batteries required (Not included.)

Light up your doorway for only $19.95

From WonderfulWacky.com via Strangenewproducts.com

You never know when you have to go

Bathroom fixtures

Naptime

Naptime

Take a whiff... and stop stinking

I’m telling you….you can’t make this stuff up.Smelly3

Feces, poop, sh#t, crap,#2, stool, doodie, dump...
Call it what you want, but it sure stinks up the bathroom! But now you or someone you know can reduce or eliminate (no pun intended) the smell of poop itself, just by taking two Whiff capsules a day. It's all natural and it works!. Take a Whiff!™ Because poop doesn't have to stink!

Check out Take a Whiff

via growabrain

Lock up your Coke... or Pepsi

Locked KwikTop is a small, re-usable, patented, in-expensive and user friendly bottle locking device with the unique feature of an integrated combination-lock.
KwikTop has developed two models:   One for plastic bottles and one for glass bottles.

You can even personalize your KwikTop bottle lock with your picture, so your friends will know who’s bottle they’re trying to break into.
Kwiktop_300

Here’s the scoop on KwikTop bottle locks.

via J-Walk blog

Fireplace TV

Now you see it…
Fireplace tv1 

Now you don’t…
FireplaceTV2

Picture House presents Plasma TV FRireplaces and Cabinets

 TV presenter and custom furniture designer David Free invented the award winning 'Plasma TV Fireplace' and designed a range of elegant and innovative, Plasma TV cabinets that contain a unique lifting mechanism that will magically glide your Plasma or LCD TV to viewing height at the touch of a button. When you're finished with the evenings entertainment, transform your room from home cinema back to your favourite room in the house. And with the remote control that comes with every Picture House product you can control everything from the comfort of your favourite chair.   No wires….. No cables….. No television… Check it out here.

via J-Walk blog

Monday, September 12, 2005

"I not come work today"

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got  headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."

The boss says, "You know, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do that you say and I feel great.   I be at work soon.  You got nice house."...

Thanks Phyl

Mistaken identity

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.

"Holy crap," he says, "Are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my
ass?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher.

Thanks Deadeye

Goldfish.... Bicardi Goldfish

Goldfish

Why quit smoking?

Every 10 seconds someone dies from tobacco use, says the World Health Organization.  Medical research suggests that those who start smoking in their teens (as 90% of smokers do) and continue for two decades or more will die 20 to 25 years earlier than those who never light up.

Smokersbody
Keep clicking on graphic to enlarge it.

via growabrain