New Year Resolutions for Pets

• I will not eat other animals' poop.
• I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
• I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
• Cats:  Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.
• Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.
• Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
• Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
• Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.
• January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
• January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
• The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

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