Here are just a few:
- You are currently residing in a small cage in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
- You own a box cutter, a laser pointer, and a small nuclear bomb.
- You own a pair of exploding shoes
- You get a Christmas card from Osama
- You prefer it when people call you a "freedom fighter".
- You live in a cave
- You hope the Iraq war hasn't caused a shortage of virgins in heaven.
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