Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Excerpts from the diary of a blonde

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels ....Helllooo!!! .... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on the Macy’s escalator for hours after the power went out!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July -Lost breast stroke swimming competition ...... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!

Thanks Gary J (who’s wife happens to be blonde)


Anonymous said...

this is sooooooo funny! i sent this to all of my friends!

Anonymous said...

i am getting real fucking tired of gay ass dumb blonde jokes you need to fucking stop gosh

Anonymous said...

I like how after multiple uses of fuck and other curses, you finish off with 'gosh'.

Anonymous said...

Maybe that was intentional? Dumb like a fox......