Thursday, December 21, 2006

Top ten signs that Santa doesn't like your kid

10.  Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"

9.   Kid asks for new bike, gets a pack of smokes.

8.   Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.

7.   By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are Styrofoam peanuts.

6.  Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.

5.   Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the dork list.

4.   Sends him off on a Carnival Cruise with Kathie Lee.

3.   First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you."

2.   Labels on all your kid's toys read, "Straight from Craptown."

1.   Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"

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