For anybody wanting to buy Sealand
- Always picked last for the United Nations football team.
- Your GNP is directly related to the cash advance limit on your Co-oP dividend card.
- Your only two cities? Starbucks North and Starbucks South.
- "I own a country" isn't nearly as good a pick-up line as "I'm a producer. Wanna dance in a rap video?"
- Damn tourists keep flushing the national toilet while you're in the national shower.
- Your entry in the Miss Universe contest? is your Grandmother.
- Your nuclear capability is limited to dental X-rays.
- It's hard to properly run a country when you're always busy unclogging your throne.
- Your air power is crippled when Son Timmy's kite gets stuck in a tree.
- When you show up at the U.N., the superpower ambassadors always give you a wedgie and take your lunch money.
- The Liechtensteiners keep asking to borrow a cup of sugar.
- While your Director of Homeland Security is busy chasing squirrels and trying to get rid of ants nests
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