Monday, January 22, 2007

The downside of owning your own small country

For anybody wanting to buy Sealand

  • Always picked last for the United Nations football team.
  • Your GNP is directly related to the cash advance limit on your Co-oP dividend card.
  • Your only two cities? Starbucks North and Starbucks South.
  • "I own a country" isn't nearly as good a pick-up line as "I'm a producer. Wanna dance in a rap video?"
  • Damn tourists keep flushing the national toilet while you're in the national shower.
  • Your entry in the Miss Universe contest? is your Grandmother.
  • Your nuclear capability is limited to dental X-rays.
  • It's hard to properly run a country when you're always busy unclogging your throne.
  • Your air power is crippled when Son Timmy's kite gets stuck in a tree.
  • When you show up at the U.N., the superpower ambassadors always give you a wedgie and take your lunch money.
  • The Liechtensteiners keep asking to borrow a cup of sugar.
  • While your Director of Homeland Security is busy chasing squirrels and trying to get rid of ants nests

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