What do you speak? Find out here.
via The Presurfer
Monday, April 18, 2005
I'm defintiely going downhill
According to this website I have about 15 more years to live. Gonna die at 72. How about you? What age will you die?
How quickly they learn...
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on this house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those idiots at Home Depot ever deliver the ******* sheet rock..."Courtesy of Scary Mary
I've always wanted to fly a helicopter
A very cute, simple and quick flash game. Each round goes fast until you get the hang of it. Just click and hold the left mouse button to go up and release the button to go down.
Note: Watch out for the block walls. you can’t fly thru them.
Warning, it’s quite addictive. Your turn to fly the Copter.
Courtesy of Scary Mary.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Michael Jackson will not do jail time
I predict that if Michael Jackson is convicted of the child molestation charges, he will commit suicide. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did it before a conviction. With Johnnie Cochran not around to pull another miracle acquittal, I don’t foresee any way he’ll be saved.
That’s a shame too. The guy really did have some talent. I never cared for most of his style of entertainment, but I could see the underlying talent. His life has been all f*&#ed up since childhood. Maybe he never had a chance at normalcy.
And don’t get me started on these dingbat bitches that let their kids sleep in his bed. Now they should be in jail.
OJ Simpson on Johnnie Cochran
“RIP Johnnie Cochran. He certainly was good at his job. Here is what OJ had to say, which strikes me as being a little odd:
Simpson paid tribute to Cochran. "I've got to say, I don't think I'd be home today without Johnnie," Simpson said. "Without Johnnie running the ball, I don't think there's a lawyer in the world that could have run that ball. I was innocent, but he believed it," he said.Wouldn't it make more sense to say, I was innocent and he believed it? It sounds like he was confusing two opposing thoughts.
The saltine challenge
Consume 6 saltines in 60 seconds.
Anyone could do it right? Apperently it’s not as easy as it sounds. No liquids are allowed and you must swallow all six saltines, not just chew them up.
Make your own ring
Take a pre-1965 silver coin and create your own silver ring….
..complete with UNITED STATED OF AMERICA inscription on the inside. This can be done with small tools in your workshop. For How-To details click here.
via finkbuilt.com
Concrete lightbulb
I’ve heard of soft lighting….but not hard lighting. Well, it doesn’t get any harded than this concrete light bulb.
Learn how to make your own here.
via j-walkblog (The best)
What the hell does that mean?
Ever wonder what certain songs are all about? Like, The Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds ?
It wasn’t about LSD as a lot of people believe. John Lennon said he was inspired to write the song after seeing a picture his young son Julian had drawn.
More info on many songs is available at SongFacts.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Here, let me give you a hand with that
It’s called the Shakeutron.
I’m not sure what this thing actually does, but I don’t think I want to find out either.
via Gizmodo
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
"AWWWW CRAP" .... I'm not staying there
I typed “crap” into Google maps. Up popped the Knights Inn in Independence KS.
I don’t think I’ll be staying there any time soon.
Try it yourself. Google maps. I wonder what some other fun words would deliver.
Bathroom attendant ...at McDonalds?
A new upscale McDonalds?
Some wacky guys set up this scene at a New York City McDonalds… with undercover cameras and everything. Read all about it.
These same guys sold trash of the celebrities.
Were aliens watching the Pope's funeral?
Apparently a video was made that shows a UFO
flying over St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican city. More news here.
Nippleless before 10 pm
American women have no nipples (before 10 p.m.)
: Pamela Anderson, appearing on Howard Stern this morning to plug her new Fox show Stacked, said that the network censors have come on the set and ordered that her nippled be "taped down" because you can't have nipples before 10 p.m.
This shows the absurd lengths to which regulatory puritanism has gone: Now American women can't have nipples, at least not before the "safe harbor," when, apparently, nipples are suddenly, magically allowed to pop out again.
I say that the NOW should be storming the FCC with protest over this: Because of the chill (which, yes, ironically, would have the undesired effect on nipples) they have imposed, we are now at the point where a woman's clothed anatomy is deemed to be injurious to children. That's childish itself; it's absurd; it's sexist; it's more offensive than any nipple, even Janet Jackson's.
Free the nipples!
from the buzzmachine
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Haunted lingerie
Believe it or don’t.
This Victoria’s Secret nightie was a nightmare for one lady and a fantasy come true for her husband. And, you could have bought it for $7.02 on ebay. Details here.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Is Abe Vigoda still kicking?
Remember Abe… he was “Fish” on the Barney Miller TV show. He was old back then. He’s actually 84 now and still kicking.
Ever have those times when you can’t remember if a famous person is dead or alive?
Well, now you can find out here. It’s kept up to date too.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Do you like clouds?
Believe it or not, there is a Cloud Appreciations Society.
I have many pictures better than some on their site. Guess I should publish them.
This is a picture I took recently at Lake Travis in Austin Texas.
I'm 60% normal
You Are 60% Normal (Really Normal)
Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal
You're like most people most of the time
But you've got those quirks that make you endearing
You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!
Find out how normal you are here. It just takes 20 quick questions to dewtermine if you should be locked up.
Google Sightseeing
Here’s a satellite picture of the Gateway Arch.
Although this particular picture isn’t there, there are lots of other famous places on the Google Sightseeing page.
To find your home or place of interest go to http://maps.google.com/ and click on the “Satellite” link in the upper right hand corner of the page. Then enter your location.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Herculaneum, we have a problem
There is a problem with the Archives section on the right hand side of this page. The links don’t work, but the content is in the main window anyway. It probably has something to do with the renaming of the blog. Not sure if I’ll be able to fix that or not, but I’ll look into it and see.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
New bra invention
Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.
An awful, awful tragedy
It’s hard to even describe this. Don’t look if you have a weak stomach or heart. It’ll break your heart. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
When you gotta go...you gotta go
Two friends pose for a picture. So sweet. But wait, what’s that in the background?
No-Stink Plumber Guarantee
Tired of having stinky plumbers trapsing through your house…now you don’t have to be. This plumbing company has a no stink guarantee.
Poop Water
Ever had to go…I mean realllly go? Especially when you’re at someone’s house? You know it’s going to be a really BAD one too? This product would be good to carry around.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Say it with feces
Why send flowers?
The Original Fecalgram™ is a 100% natural, freshly squeezed, human made turd that is sealed in a high quality box which we then decorate to make it look like an expensive gift. We then ship it, along with any message you provide, to anyone in America completely anonymously.
Here's a drive to get 'behind'
There are support groups for just about everything these days; breast, colon and testicular cancer, AIDS, arthritis, etc. Here’s a new one.
Here’s a victim of Noassatol.
?
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Traffic Light Wars
Silly but I just couldn't keep from watching all of them. Traffic Light Wars.
Saturday, January 18, 2003
Unnatural Wonders
From the Arkansas Shoe Tree to the Cadillac Rance of Texas to the fur covered trout to the Corn Palace to the Mona Lisa barn to the world's largest six pack pf beer to the Chain Of Rocks Bridge. Yep, they're all here ...and all Unnatural Wonders.
A very different venus fly trap (I guess)
Hard to describe this. But it is interesting. Venus.
X-Ray Glasses on the internet
Try these on for size. They'll let you see through clothing.
Paint by Numbers...without those messy paints.
Internet Paint Ny Number.
It's Interactive! It's Quick! It's Easy! Dries Instantly! No Cleanup!
Ever wonder how Uncle Willie became a part of your family?
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has an elablrate wesite that can help you investigate the history of your anscestors.
Go to Family Search.
What do waiters and waitresses really think about you?
Do you know that thay can and will sabotage the meal of rude people and/or bad tippers?
Well if you really want to know the scoop, check out The Stained Apron. Straight from the horses mouth.
Make Your Bush Talk
Yes you can put words into your presidents mouth.... or, more appropriately make them come out of his mouth.
It's fun....it's silly..... it's the President! You can be a speech writter. Bushspeak.
Wanna send a message to the dearly departed?
You can now send a message to Uncle Charlie who passed away last year. Or, check up on cousin Jed who died fifty years ago.
And, it's only $10 a word (five word minimum). Just use Afterlife Telegrams. They offer a direct conduit to the unalive.
Paint yourself by number
Get you own personalized paint by number canvas.
Send in your photo and they'll make a custom paint by number just for you. Only $49.95 and up.
Things go better with Coke
You can cook with it...tan with it, clean tile grout with it, kill rates with it, clean buf off your windshield with it, fertilize grass with it, clean a toilet with it. Oh, and you can drink it. Crazy uses for Caca-Cola.
Singing horses
You've never seen anythnig like the singing horses.
Mr. Ed, eat your heart out.
Click on a horse to hear him sing.
Get in touch with your inner ganster.
The Soprano's mafia name generator.
I'm Jonny the Bishop.
Dressed like a million bucks..... Would you settle for a dollar?
How to fold a one-dollar bill into a nice polo shirt. Money shirt.
Pick a nose
Just not your nose! At least not in front of me. Do it in your car when no one can see you.
Can you tell the difference between men's and women's noses? Pick a nose.
Dog Nose Heaven
Just in the nip of time, here is a gallery of dog noses. And you've been wondering what the internet is for.
Drinking Signs
When words come out, alcohol can't get in. Remove the roadblocks to drinking success with this arsenal of non-verbal communication.
I used to believe....
.... if I sat on the toilet for too long a hairy hand would come out from the hole at the bottom and pull me under.
..... that Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson were the same person.
.... that somthing took the bread from the toaster and replaced it with toast.
..... that if I played with my belly button too much, it'd come untied and all my skin would fall off.
For more please check out I used to believe.
Don't let anything go to waste.
Here's somethnig for you to do every month. Menstrual paintings.
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
WWJD - What Would Jesus Drive?
Find out just by reading your Bible. Too lazy to do that? Check out WWJD
Throwing up a gallon of milk.
And look... pictures... for posterity...and your entertainment.
Milkman
A little giant list of oxymorons
From 'head butt' to 'tight slacks' to 'ball club' to 'barely dressed' to 'upside down' to 'zero deficit'. Words that just don't go together. The Oxymoron List.
Here's the scoop on poop.
Check out Poop Scoop
Don't miss the Turd Twister. Everyone needs one of these.
A word to the wise..... to coin a phrase...
Looking for the right cliche to use? Try Cliche Finder
Tornado of fire.
A graphic masterpiece... featuring David Copperfield. Dream Portal.
(Worth checking out.)
Photo or Fake? Can you tell the difference?
Can you tell the difference between a photo or a computer generated fake? Take the test now!
WWJD - Who would Jeses Date?
Looking for a new beau? Jesus is looking for a woman. Could it be you?
Hate leaving an exciting ball game just to go pee?
Then you need the Stadium Pal. No more waiting in long lines.
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