Tuesday, June 20, 2006
For the garden of daily living
PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another
NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another
TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends
A life without left turns
A very nice story about a man who lived to be 102 years old by his son, Michael Gartner. Michael Gartner has been editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing.
"You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." — Carl Gartner
This would have been a good story for Father’s Day.
Once upon a time.....
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.. Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."
Moral of the Story:
Women are clever!!!
Don't mess with them!!
Thanks Phyllis
Bra codes
Have you ever wondered why bras are lettered A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, H…. and how the letters are actually used to define bras sizes?
Thanks Crazy Mary
Monday, June 19, 2006
Three desperately ill men....
…. met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an Alcoholic, one was a Chain Smoker, and one was a Homosexual.
The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, “If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die”.
The men left the doctor’s office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.
While walking toward the subway for their return trip home to the suburbs, they passed a bar.
The Alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.
His companions somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor’s words.
As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning, The Homosexual looked at the Chain-Smoker and said, “You know if you bend over to pick that up, we’re both dead.
A restauranteur not afraid to express his opinion
For fine dining and something to think about try Casa D’Ice in North Versailles, Pennsylvania.
This guy’s sign out front is becoming world famous. Just reading a few of them tells you why!
70,000 beer cans found in townhouse
You know how some people, after they use something, just can’t bear to throw it away.
That might make sense if it’s magazines or clothes. But what if it’s empty beer cans?
In astounding numbers?
Funny computer quotes
Here are just a few:
- "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"
- "Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."
- "Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."
- “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” — Michael Sinz
- Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
- "I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly"
- "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"
- "I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'."
Top secret invisibility cloaking
This is an INCREDIBLE video. They say it’s not a trick, but a new technology. Whatever it is…it is COOL.
This Invisibility technology is fresh out of Japan.
Apparently them clever Japs have created a material that works like an invisibility cloak. From looking at the video i can't quite figure out how this works, Because it seems to be able to work on different layers. Sometimes you can see through wood, or the man, So why can you see through what is behind it. They call this "secret invisibility technology", But to be honest, I think it's just a trick.Anyone got any more info on this?
UPDATE: Click on GOOTube link below ans scroll down to the clip.
From Gootube which says it’s the best of Google Video and You Tube
Top ten hybrid animals
Hybrid animals are cross-breds between animals of similar genetics.
They mostly exist in captivity and are the result of human intervention.
10. Liger/Tigon
9. Wolf Dog
8. Iron Age Pig
7. Zebroid
6. Cama A Cama is a hybrid between a camel and a llama. They are born via artificial insemination due to the huge difference in sizes of the animals which disallow natural breeding. A Cama usually has the short ears and long tails of a camel but the cloven hooves of a llama. Also most noticeably is the absence of the hump.
5. Grolar, Pizzly (bear)
4. Leopon
3. Hybrid Pheasant
2. Wolphin
1. Ti-Liger, Ti-Tigon, Li-Tigon, Li-Liger
More on this interesting subject (with pictures of all)
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Top Ten Things Dad Will Never Say
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.
371 Useless Facts
I’m not sure how accurate the list is though. Fact # 83 says that the largest pumpkin weighed 1,262 lbs. Then it links to this pumpkin which weighs 1,385 lbs. Strange. Still interesting though.
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