Why Females should avoid a girls night out after they are married

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"  Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for  home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably  wake up, I cuckooed another9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him ”Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all.
Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last  night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. shit.", cuckooed 4  more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and thentripped over the coffee table and farted."