Saturday, October 21, 2006

You Aren't A Kid Any More When.....

  • You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
  • You can live without sex but not without glasses.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  • You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
  • Your are proud of your lawn mower.
  • Your best friend is dating someone half his age..... and isn't breaking any laws.
  • You call Olan Mills before they call you.
  • Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
  • You sing along with the elevator music.
  • You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
  • You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
  • You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
  • You make an appointment to see the dentist.
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  • Neighbors borrow your tools .
  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?"
  • You have a dream about prunes.
  • You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"
  • You send money to PBS.
  • You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of deposit.
  • The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
  • You take a metal detector to the beach.
  • You wear black socks with sandles.
  • You know what the word "equity" means.
  • You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
  • Your ears are hairer than your head.
  • You talk about "good grass," and you're referring to someone's lawn.
  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
  • You got cable for the weather channel.
  • You can go bowling without drinking .
  • You have a party, and the neighbors don't even realize it.

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