Friday, November 09, 2007

The year's best headlines

These were supposedly actually printed in 2007.  I can believe it.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
          No, really?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
     Now that's taking  things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 
     What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
     See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace 
     I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile    
    Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  Who would have thought!
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
      They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
   You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?! 
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge 
      He probably IS the battery charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 
   Weren't they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 
    Do they taste like chicken? 

 Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
     Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 
   Boy, are they tall!
    And the winner is.... 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
     Did I read that right?
Thanks Joe P


Anonymous said...

I don't mean to be too critical. But do you ever bother to Google? If you try your favorite one, for example, there are claims that this was "actually printed" in 2000, 2002, 2004 . . . Maybe.

Jonco said...

I Google all the time. But I don't Google about every post. I don't have time to "verify" the posts. I'm just shooting for the humor in most things. I don't think it's too important whether or not the date is correct (though it's always better if it is), or even if they are actual printed headlines.... I just look for the humor in them. If they make me chuckle then I'll probably use them. I know the jokes are just maybe the "headlines" are just jokes too.
I took the date reference out of the post since I now know it's not accurate.
If I spend a lot of time verifying every little thing I post there would only be a few posts per day. I think (hope actually) that most people would rather see more posts.
I don't purport anything seen here to be completely accurate and/or honest. Besides, I have you guys to let me know when somthing is amiss. And I appreciate that.