Tuesday, October 04, 2005

If you aren't a redneck.... then you must be a blue neck

Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves;) YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK
IF...
 
  • ...Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
  • ...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
  • ...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.
  • ...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts, not road kill, Dummy!)
  • ...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
  • ...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.
  • ...You don't know what a moon pie is. You have probably never watched a moon pie in a microwave.
  • Awesome!
  • ...You've never had an RC Cola.
  • ...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
  • ...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
  • ...You have no idea what a polecat is.
  • ..You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
  • ...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
  • ...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."
  • ...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.
  • .. You have never been hep'd.
  • ...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach
  • ...You have never gone to a family reunion to pick up women.
  • ...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
  • ...You couldn't find the eye of the stove if your life depended on it.
  • ...You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
  • ..You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.
  • ..You call binoculars opera glasses.
  • ...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
  • ...You can't spit without opening your mouth.
  • ...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
  • ...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Freddie, Johnnie, Jimmie, Ricki)
  • ...You don't have Maw-maw's, Me-maws, Pawpaw's or Pappaw's.
  • ...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
  • ...None of your fur coats are homemade.

stolen from lollogren.com

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