The Top 15 Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines

From TopFive.com

15> "He snapped my bra like a Concorde taking off, and I was unhooked for love." 
 
14> "Yes, she was a woman who had once been a man, but she still knew how to flutter her eyelashes as well as those other hussies." 
 
13> "The heaving waves on the vast, ink-black ocean sent a salty spray over the proud bow of the three-masted ship, leaving   beads of water on the exposed alabaster skin above the bodice of the tall, raven-haired woman who stood sobbing on the deck, her salty tears mixing with the storm-tossed sea."
 
12> "Scarlet's hair was as red as my persistent canker sore." 
 
11> "Nicolette let the silk blouse fall from her shoulders, wrapped her left leg around John and deftly cut some cheese." 
 
10> "Robert was new at this prison thing, and he felt frightened and confused.  But the moment he laid eyes on #472825994, he  became a prisoner of love." 
 
 9> "Sam liked to hump." 
 
 8> "Though he was flanked by two swarthy state troopers, Paula found her gaze drawn to the chubby saxophonist." 
 
 7> "It was a dark and horny night." 
 
 6> "Gentle cascades of vermilion poured over Daphne's heaving,  lily-white bosom. 'Call 911, Scooby,' she breathed." 
 
 5> "His flatulence reared up like a proud stallion." 
 
 4> "'Miss Savannah, is there room for both of us in that hoop skirt?' Chandler mocked with a slight bow and a sweep of his top hat." 
 
 3> "Within minutes of their meeting, Representatives Beth  (D-Florida) and Eric (R-Montana) lumbered into the bedroom where soon the unmistakable sounds of wet, naked bodies  engaged in a sexual congress were heard."
 
 2> "He smelled of pork.  Rotting pork, in fact, and lots of it."
 
 
    and TopFive.com's Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Opening Line... 
 
 
 1> "Omaha Beach, 0800 Hours: Reinforcements from 2nd Panzer Korps arrive, their well-muscled young torsos glistening with man-dew."