A letter we'd all like to write

Dear IRS:

Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached  article from USA Today, wherein you will see
that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid
$600.00 for a toilet seat.

I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers (value
$1,029), bringing my total remitted to $3,429.00. Please apply the
overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on
my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5"
Phillips Head screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays
$22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws is enclosed for your
convenience.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward
to paying it again next year.

                                                                           Sincerely,

                                                                           A Satisfied Taxpayer

Thanks Phyllis