The Top 16 Signs James Bond Is Losing His Masculinity

From TopFive.com

          Lee Tamahori, director of the James Bond movie "Die Another Day," was arrested in a prostitution sting.  The twist? He was allegedly *offering* the services. An undercover officer said he was sitting in his
 car when Tamahori -- dressed in an off-the-shoulder dress -- approached and offered to perform a sex act.
        To each his own, I say.
 Still, we here at TopFive are concerned 007 *himself* might be losing his macho side...

      The Top 16 Signs James Bond Is Losing His Masculinity

• 16> Ordered to "take out" the enemy, they end up at a trendy sushi bar.
• 15> "Q, would you happen to have a missile-firing bustier?"
• 14> "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to cry."
• 13> In the casino, Bond excuses himself from a repartee session with the villain at the roulette table because he has great seats to see Celine Dion.
• 12> Bond's newest secret weapon?  A raging case of PMS.
• 11> The villain's "secret lair" is an exact replica of the "Oprah" set.
• 10> This time, Ernst Blofeld is petting a rooster.
•  9> Finding himself alone with a bevy of geishas, he spends hours learning how to tie an obi.
•  8> The opening title sequence features slo-mo nude silhouettes of what appear to be the Village People doing pilates.
•  7> "Pussy Galore? No, thank you!"
•  6> Before lighting Ms. Galore's cigarette, Bond has to find his lighter by digging through his man-purse.
•  5> The new Bond girl: Phyllis Boxers, as portrayed by RuPaul.
•  4> He keeps insisting to Q that a rosy shade of poisoned lipstick is his best defense.
•  3> Overwrought following a high-speed chase on the Autobahn, 007finds comfort in season one of "Gilmore Girls" and a pint of Cookies 'n' Cream.
•  2> Insists on going to the costume ball as Lara Croft, Tomb Raider.

              and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign James
                Bond Is Losing His Masculinity...

•  1> "Martini. Stirred, not shaken. With two olives, but on the side. No, wait -- just one olive. Can you take the pimento out? Yeah? Ok, give me two olives then. Oh, but they have oil in them. You know what? Just give me a Tab. With lemon. No, lime...."