Help! I'm an idiot

Revealed: The UK's stupidest call centre customers

A HILARIOUS collection of the stupidest customers to ring UK call centres has become a cult hit.   Many callers were recorded as they went through some of the silliest inquiries ever received by exasperated operators.   They include a dimwit who rang the RAC to ask if he needed to move the steering wheel to the left side of his car to drive in France.

And a baffled computer user who, when Tech Support asked: "Can you see the OK button in the left hand bottom of the screen?", replied: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

The loony exchanges are rapidly flying around the web in a chain email. Here are some of the best...

Customer: I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?
Operator: Where did you get that number from, sir?
Customer: It was on the door to the travel centre.
Operator: They're our opening hours.

Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.
Caller: In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number?
Operator: I think you mean the telephone point on the wall.

Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?
Operator: Doesn't the name of the product give you a clue?

Caller: If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?

Caller: I"d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please.
Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing.
Is the spelling correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B fell off.

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: Woven? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That''s what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland.

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: I haven't got a pen, so I"m steaming up the window to write the number on.

Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer: OK.
Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: No.
Tech Support:OK. Right-Click again.
Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer: Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.

Tech Support: OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?
Customer: Wow. How can you see my screen from there?

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