Here a a few of the 72 things you can learn:
- 1. Don't worry, your dad didn't know what he was doing, either.
- 8. If you want to subject your son to the unkindest cut, insist on a local anesthetic, since many pediatricians don't bother to use one. The anesthetic is for the kid.
- 23. The first time you change your son's diaper and he pees all over you is not an accident. It's foreshadowing.
- 29. It never hurts to videotape the baby-sitter. Especially if she's hot.
- 33. Overalls are not only cute, they provide a convenient handle.
- 47. Unfortunately, those books that say motherhood makes women desire more sex are referring to women who are not your wife.
- 48. No matter how wealthy you are, don't buy your kid a car -- offer to match him.
Ditto for other adolescent big-ticket items; teach the little bastard some responsibility! - 62. Know that by the time your kids are teens, those enormous baggy pants will be long gone, as will tattoos, piercing, and Marilyn Manson.
- 67. Never turn down an invitation to play.
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