Here are just a few:
- Face like a dropped pie.
- Happy as a dog with two tails.
- Harder to pick than a broken nose.
- If he fell into a barrel full of tits he'd come up sucking his thumb.
- Smiling like a mother-in-law in a divorce court.
- So bucktoothed, she could eat a watermelon through a barbed wired fence.
- So hungry ... I could eat the arsehole out of a dead dingo, I could eat the crotch out of a low flying duck.
- Ugly as a hatful of arseholes.
- Useless as ... tits on a bull, a glass door on a dunny, a letterbox on a tombstone, a pork chop at a synagogue.
- Vanished like a fart in a fan factory.
- useless as an ashtray on a motorbike
- (any sport) played like a cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond
- As popular as a turd in a punchbowl
- He wouldn't work in an iron lung..meaning he's terribly lazy
- All that lead in the pencil and no one to write to (single guy)
- wind so strong it would blow a dog off a chain
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