Songs rewritten for Boomers

J-Walk blog has posted a bunch of songs rewritten to appeal to aging baby boomers.  I shamelessly stole borrowed them and some of the funnier comments he received.

• Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
• The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
• Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
• Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
• Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
• Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now
• Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
• Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
• Marvin Gaye - I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts
• Procol Harem - A Whiter Shade of Hair
• Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
• The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
• Abba - Denture Queen
• Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall
• Helen Reddy - I am Woman, Hear me Snore
• Willie Nelson - On the Throne Again
• Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To
• The Angels - My Boyfriend's Dead
• The Outsiders - Time Won't Let Me Do Anything
• The Box Tops - Bend Me, Shake Me Out Of My Coma
• Pete Seeger - This Land Is Your Land, Thanks to My Will
• Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Cleaner
• Betty Everett - The Droop Droop Song
• The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Feeling In Your Left Leg
• Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling Down The Stairs and Breaking My Hip
• Nancy Sinatra - These Slippers Are Made For Keeping My Feet Warm When The House Gets a Little Chilly
•  Van Morrison: My Gallstone Girl
•  Eric Clapton: It grows hair, it grows hair, it grows hair.....Rogaine
•  The Stones: Time Is Not on My Side
•  The Stones: Get Off My Lawn
•  James Brown: Papa's Got a Brand New Colostomy Bag
• Tony Bennet:  I left my heart in...   Uh...   Where was I?
• Moody Blues:   Lovely to See You Again...with these new bifocals
• Simon & Garfunkel:  Hello Darkness My Old Friend (now how will I find my Depends?)
•  Going to the Chapel (And We're Gonna Get Buried)
•  The Box Tops: The Letter--not one of those newfangled emails!
•  "Predecease Me" by Kitty Wills
• Predecease me (you die first)
  'cause you're the one who'd feel the worst
  to think of me without a friend
  Predecease me...and let me love again
•  Amazing Grave (How Sweet the Mound)
• Paul Simon:  Call me Al (Zheimer)
•  The Beach Boys: Be True To Your Stool;  Good Vibrators; Help Me, OnStar
• The Beatles: Dear Prunejuice; Drive My Golfcart;  Got To Get It Into My Wife;  I Am The Wal-Mart; I Should Have Known Betty
•  The Rolling Stones: 90th Nervous Breakdown; {I Can't Get No) Sam's Club Action; Let's Spend The 401K Together
• Janis Joplin:   Me and Wobbly Knee
• Creedence Clearwater Recovery:  Who'll stop the pain
• Pete Seeger:  Where Have All The Hours Gone?
• Bob Dylan:  Blowin’ (I’ve Got Wind)
•  Beatles: "Will you still need me..." When I'm Seventy-four
•  Van Halen: "Hot Flashes for Teacher"
• Little richard:  Fruity Tootie

via  Still the Best After All These Years