Here are just a few:
"People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot." -Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI. "I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop." -Noel Coward Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemingway - Mike Hammer drinks beer because I can't spell cognac. -Mickey Spillane
The Pope doesn't recognize the Protestants, Christians don't recognize Islam, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store. --Old Southern Saying Liquor before Beer, Never Fear. Beer before Liquor, Never Sicker. --Oft-ignored college saying I wasn't drunk in Public. I was drunk in a bar. They THREW me into Public. --Ron White - Spilling your beer is the worst form of alcohol abuse -- Author unknown
- "And I thought to myself, 'I haven't had a Schlitz since the third grade!'"- Robert Earl Keen
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HERE ARE SOME MORE:
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. –Paul Hornung
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-George Bernard Shaw
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.-Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group."-Leo Durocher
AND ONE MORE:
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to
his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of
buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the
herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a
whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest
brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain
cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
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