From Modern Drunkard Click that link to get details on each item. I’ve added my comments in green.
- 1.) Open and close a bar. On the same day?
- 2.) Go on a bender. For how long? I’m a busy guy you know.
- 3.) Drink a fifth of hard liquor, by yourself, in one day. Been there, done that… while on a fishing trip many moons ago.
- 4.) Dance like a fool in front of a large hooting crowd. Do it regularly
- 5.) Spend a night in the drunk tank. Not yet, but almost.
- 6.) Get drunk on the grave of your hero. Great idea
- 7.) Buy a crowded bar a round. I might be drunk, but I’m not a Kennedy
- 8.) Embark on an impromptu road trip. One of my favorite pastimes
- 9.) Get 86’d from a bar. Can’t say as I have… yet.
- 10.) Extravagantly overtip a bartender. What does she look like?
- 11.) Walk up to an attractive stranger way out of your league and buy him or her a drink. Good idea
- 12.) Conspire an afterhours at your favorite bar. Is that bar or bra? Thought you might be dyslexic.
- 13.) Make your best friend a perfect martini. Martini? But why? He won’t drink it.
- 14.) Buy, build or steal a home bar. Bought
- 15.) Get carried home by your drinking buddies. Been there, done that.
- 16.) Get drunk with your father. Now you tell me. Too late. Besides Dad didn’t drink much.
- 17.) Fight a good fight. I’m a lover not a fighter.
- 18.) Visit the source of your favorite beer, wine or liquor. Done
- 19.) Drunkenly watch the sun come up with your best boozing buddies and a bottle. I seem to recall doing that
- 20.) Sit in on an A.A. meeting. Went to a meeting at AAA once.
- 21.) Hit a dozen bars in one night. My limit is 6 or 7
- 22.) Try at least one hundred different drinks. In one sitting?
- 23.) Get loaded in the land of your forefathers. Every time I do, I do.
- 24.) Juice on the job. Been known to happen a time or two.
- 25.) Split a magnum of expensive champagne with your true love. Would wine do?
- 26.) Give a hobo twenty bucks. Whew! I thought you said homo. Charity starts at home.
- 27.) Get loaded and tell your boss exactly how you feel. Do it all the time. I’m self employed.
- 28.) Send a friend a bottle of good liquor. Been there, done that.
- 29.) Eat a pickled egg from the big jar. Never been drunk enough to do that
- 30.) Go on a fishing trip with your pals. Regularly
- 31.) Eat the worm. Eat or beat?
- 32.) Learn at least one traditional drinking song. Only one?
- 33.) Steal some booze. Hmmmm, can’t recall doing that. Used to acquire it illegally though when underage.
- 34.) Spend half a paycheck on a single bottle of liquor. How about spending a whole paycheck on a half bottle?
- 35.) Start your long-awaited and very personal autobiography: Me and the Booze: A Love Story.
- 36.) Try absinthe. I’ll give up anything but booze… and pizza.
- 37.) Watch the movie Barfly with five of your closest friends. I’ll put it on my list.
- 38.) Work at least a week as a bartender. Consider this my application
- 39.) Make your own beer, wine or moonshine. Long ago… made beer and stomped grapes for wine (awful)
- 40.) Go to your place of worship loaded. Done several times many years ago.
1 comment:
1)I've opened, I've closed, I've never made the full trip. 2) Done it in Cancun, wow, what a wonderful vacation I hardly remember 3) 30th birthday party, a fifth of lemonade schnapps, I believe I was swinging by the chandelier by 2am, 4) That's no problem, do it all the time 5) Been there, done that, if you will recall from earlier, I told the cop if he didn't have that gun, I'd beat the shit out of him, lmao 6) I've had a beer with Liz at her grave but never got drunk there. Hey, I think I have my 2007 resolution!!! 7) I've done that, so very stupid, but you don't realize it until the next day. 8) Connecticut to New Jersey in the middle of the night with time out to smoke a joint with Andy the Cab driver, yea, been there, done that. 9) Got turned down because they said I'd had to much, and I hadn't had any at all. That's fun for you. Actually I was stoned out of my mind. They knew better than I. 10) Never, I tip them what they deserve. 11) I've done that, he said if I didn't smoke I may stand a chance, and I told him if he wasn't such an asshole he wouldn't stink so bad. 12) I've never done number 12. 13) I've done that and regretted it. He turned into the Tasmanian Devil. 14) Working on this one. 15) It's been done, lol 16) i've done this after Liz died. I confessed that at my navy graduation she traveled with him to see me, with a joint she got from a dear friend. Thank you Lizzie Pooh!! 17) I showed up at a party in Houston drunk and screamed to a bunch of bikers that Harley's were a pussy bike. I got clobbered. And to my harley friends, I deeply apologize. 18) Not sure what it means to visit it. It's in the fridge, I go there periodically. 19) I did this in Cancun with a man named Jorje (George) Seems his sun couldn't rise, but that is between me and the sand, lmao) 20) Been to an AA meeting once, and got hit on by an alchie, I never went back. 21) I actually did this in Connecticut. I was in a jog-a-bar to raise money for some disease. You run from bar to bar and have to chug a beer when you get there. I came in last and on the last turn swan dove onto the pavement and ripped the knees out of my sweats, man I had fun. 22)Can't do #22, Next!! 23)Since my forefather was a cherokee indian, I do try to smoke the peace pipe every now and again. 24) I only juice on the weekends. 25) Can I do Sparkling Wine, Champaigne is not my thang. 26) I can go 5 bucks. 27) I've gotten loaded and wanted to tell my boss exactly how I felt, unfortunately I had kids to feed, so I just took it out on them, j/k. 28) Every Christmas, I send a bottle of Absolut Vodka to my friends Donna and Tony from my Navy days, up in Cape Cod now. 29) No can do 30) I do it all the time. First fish of the day wins a dollar. 31) Love to fish, love tequilla, don't do the worm. 32) You'll love this Jon. B double e double r un...Beer Run. B double e double r un...Beer Run. All you need is a ten and a fiver, keys and a car and a sober driver, b double e double r un beerrun. 33) I never steal booze. 34) Right now that would get me about a 12 pack of nat light, lol, 35) I'm contimplating starting that. 36)no comprende 37) On my list (Are we almost finished?) 38)Worked 10 years as a bar tender. If the walls could talk. 39) Why create when it's so much easier to go to Jabeebs and buy it. 40) Well, I worship by the side of a pond while I'm fishing. I think you much sooner find Jesus fishing than in a 4 million dollar temple, so yes, I've been drunk in my place of worship, Sue me!!
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