I had no idea that Hell was so vast. There is an Upper Hell and a Lower Hell. Hell even has a capital city – the City of Dis.
Apparently people that commit the same kinds of sins are lumped together in a certain ring… or area of Hell. Hell even has a cold place way down at the bottom in Cocytus. It is here that Satan is trapped in ice to his waist for eternity… or until the next power failure melts all the ice (which occurs here in the St. Louis area with more and more frequency lately). Not sure if Hell’s power utility has a back-up plan in case of such emergency.
Not being a religious sort, I learned a lot about Satan. He used to be an angel and now has three faces, six eyes, six wings, and three chins… just like Larry Flynt. He’s also very hairy, not unlike Robin Williams, I imagine. In each of his mouths, Satan is constantly chews on sinners.
I learned a lot while at Dante's Inferno – A Virtual Tour of Hell. Now I just need to figure out where I fit in.
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