Monday, August 06, 2007

New at Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart announced that, sometime in 2008, it will begin offering customers a new discount item --- Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville.

"But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur ParcSmilie

9. White Trashfindel

8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling

6. NASCARbernet

5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir

3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar

2. Grape Expectations

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel) .

P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat.



Anonymous said...

Remember when you posted the photo of the African guy with a KFC bucket near his passed out self? Remember the howling about racial insensitivity? Well, for equal times sake I feel I must complain about you inferring that as a redneck I might eat opossum or squirrel? Let me tell you I was very offended. While I have eaten squirrel, I have not eaten opossum. This was very hurtful and I might not be able to drink all of my beers tonight.

Jon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jon said...

Dear Anonymous,
Not be able to drink your beers?

Sir, to you, I am sincerely sorry.


Anonymous said...

They forgot Ruinyournightie. . .