Monday, October 29, 2007

Stuff people actually put on their resumes

These are really funny…..

  • Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

  • It’s best for employers that I not work with people.

  • I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.

  • Please disregard the attached resume-it is terribly out of date.

  • Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.

  • Graduated in the top 66% of my class.

  • Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.

  • I have a bachelorette degree in computers.

  • I worked as a Corporate Lesion.

  • Vocational plans: Sea World.

  • Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store.

  • Hire me and you won’t regret it - I am funny, cute, smart and creative… really.

  • Referees available upon request.

  • Education: Graduated from predatory school with honors.

  • Personal achievements: Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes.

  • Reason for leaving: They stopped paying me.

  • Special skills: Thyping.




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