It’s the day for giving thanks, so I want to thank the readers of Bits & Pieces. This past week an average of 8,440 people have visited Bits & Pieces every day. A total of 3,552, 499 people have visited this blog since it began, way back in march of 2002. That’s three and a half million hits! (There were more than 5 million page views). That’s just amazing to me. So, I thank you very much. I’ll keep doing it until I get it right… or until I get tired of doing it. Happy Turkey Day!
Bush Issues "Thankfulness List" Pre-Thanksgiving Radio Address
In a special pre-Thanksgiving radio address broadcast from the White House, President George W. Bush asked his fellow Americans to join him in giving thanks for the following things:
"My fellow Americans, let's be thankful for global warming, because as these winter months approach, it makes the world such a nice, toasty place.
"Let's be thankful for all of the food on our tables, unless some of it is from China.
"Let's be thankful that Pakistan will have free and fair elections, and maybe someday we will, too.
"Let's be thankful for the iPhone, except for those losers who actually paid full price for it.
"Let's be grateful that I didn't take out a subprime mortgage on the White House like Mr. Cheney told me to.
"Let's be thankful that nuclear weapons haven't fallen into the hands of the wrong people, like Nancy Pelosi or Rosie O'Donnell.
"Let's be thankful that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's writers are on strike, and hopefully will stay that way for the rest of my term in office.
"Let's be thankful that even though my approval numbers are falling, they're still higher than my grades at Yale.
"Let's be thankful that Osama bin Laden dyed his hair in his last video, because that made him look really gay.
"Let's be thankful for Guitar Hero III, which really helps you get through those long Cabinet meetings when they're going on and on about the economy.
"Let's be thankful that our military commanders have nothing bad to say about the war in Iraq until after they're retired.
"Let's be thankful that in nine months it will be August and then I can go on summer vacation again.
"And finally, my fellow Americans, let's be thankful that, even though Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize, I'm still a lock for the Nobel War Prize."
Things you can only get away with saying on Thanksgiving Day
- 1. Talk about a huge breast!
- 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
- 3. It's Cool Whip time!
- 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
- 5. That's one terrific spread!
- 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
- 7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
- 8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
- 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
- 10. Don't play with your meat.
- 11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
- 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
- 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
- 14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
- 15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
- 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
- 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
- 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!