Getting older

 ---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

 --- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

 --- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

 ---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

 ---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

 ---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up!

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